


You Deserve It All

by karalovesallthegirls



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Burn so slow you’ll wonder if the stove is even on, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2018-12-16 18:39:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11834682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karalovesallthegirls/pseuds/karalovesallthegirls
Summary: AKA the sugar baby Kara AU--When later asked, Kara will vehemently insist that she is not, nor has she ever been, a sugar baby.She just happens to be in the position to accept extravagant gifts and money from a wealthy CEO in exchange for certain acts of physical and emotional intimacy. But! That does not make her a sugar baby, okay? It makes her a friend. A great one, actually, and the only one Lena Luthor has likely ever had.





	1. first day of my life

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING. Here is the first chapter of the sugar baby Kara universe.

Lena Luthor comes bursting into her life early one stormy morning.

She probably didn’t mean to slam the door so forcefully against the glass storefront wall, but the torrential downpour she’s escaping swings it forward so fast Kara half expects the glass to shatter. Lena (though in this moment Kara knows her only as the soaking woman currently letting in all the rain) spends approximately thirty seven seconds battling the forces of nature in a futile attempt to close the door again before just letting it bang back open against the glass store front with a noticeable crack.   
  
Kara can’t help but wince at the sound. Miss Grant is going to kill her.  
  
“I’ll pay for that,” the woman grits out between chattering teeth. Her voice is tight, shoulders clenched, jaw locked so fiercely Kara can see the muscles quiver. She’s wearing what was once a sharply tailored suit but is now a soaking mud-stained mess that clings tight against her skin.  
  
She trudges forward with careful steps, her heels shaking dangerously along the slippery tile. Kara breaks free from her stunned observing to run forward and force the door shut, the roar of the storm quieting down enough so that the only significant noise in the shop was the _swish squish swish squis_ h sound of the woman’s slow but steady progress towards the bathroom just around the counter.  
  
Kara sends a wide-eyed look over to Winn, her coworker and best friend of two years, who just looks back at her with the same confusion. The mysterious woman eventually reaches the bathroom and slams the door shut behind her.  
  
“Should we,” Kara starts, but she doesn’t quite know what she was going to suggest. It’s barely ten in the morning and it’d been storming on and off all day, so wet lady is their first customer of the day. _Should she offer her a cookie?_

Winn holds his hands up in surrender.

 “I’m a dude. Can’t follow a lady into the bathroom.” He turns to head back, making like he’s actually got work he needs to do. Like they ever have actual work to do. “Good luck!”  
  
Kara takes a long, meditative breath, before steeling herself up enough to go knock on the door.  
  
“Ma’am,” she calls through the door, “are you alright?”  
  
“Fuck!” the woman says. “Fuck fuck fuck FUCK!”

Kara considers just walking away at that but a loud crash has her rushing in before she can stop herself. The woman seems to be in the midst of a panic, dry-heaving hunched over the sink. Her soaked blazer has been thrown across the room, a shattered iPad laying next to it.

Kara moves slowly, arms out in front of her like she’s approaching a wild animal.  
  
“Ma’am?” she tries again, and while the woman doesn’t visibly seem to notice her she does finally respond.  
  
“Everything is ruined,” she says, almost laughing now in a frantic sort of way, “today is the day it all begins and it’s already ruined!” She does a bit of a snort-laugh only to quickly cover it up with her hands, eyes wide. Kara reaches out to her with a hesitant, placating hand.  
  
“What’s ruined?” she asks gently. When she first moved in with the Danvers, Kara would regularly have panic attacks that left her huddled in the corner shaking and crying. Eliza was always able to bring her back through soft words and touches, so Kara tries to replicate the comfort. She ends up just sort of patting the woman on the head.  
  
The woman seems unfazed by her petting. She’s just shaking her head over and over, and she’s got tears streaking down her face mixing with the mud and it takes a moment for her to pull her hands away from her mouth to speak.  
  
“The presentation is today, it’s on the complete opposite side of town and after, after is when the board votes on,” she sniffles hard, “on me, I guess.”  She wipes at her eye with the back of her hand but only manages to smear mud even more across her face.  
  
“I was supposed to be there hours ago preparing, but every time I tried to call for a car they’d say they were coming but they never came, so I thought,” she hiccups through her tears, “I thought perhaps I could just walk to the office and then,”  Kara hands her a bit of the rough 1-ply toilet paper they stock despite her numerous complaints, “even the sky decided to work against me, and the next thing I knew I was on my knees in a puddle much too deep to be in a residential sidewalk! I will be writing a strongly-worded letter to our city council.”

Kara can’t help but smile at that, charmed even by the sadness. She recognizes this moment for what it is - she is witnessing the worst day of someone else’s life. She starts mentally mapping the city in her mind, thinking of where the presentation might be. The shop - CatCo’s Cookies and Cakes! - is on the eastern side of the city near the local university. Based on her description it’s likely her presentation is near the river to the west, where all the large corporations stand. They can steal Winn’s car and jet over there.

“Anyway, my tablet is probably fried and it has all of my notes. Not that it matters at this point-”  
  
Traffic at this hour is usually somewhat heavy so taking the main highway will be a bust though. There are back alley routes they could take, maybe, but they’d never be able to fit in the van. That really only leaves one option.  
  
“-I’d need to be there in the next, what? Thirty minutes?” the woman continues, having missed Kara’s methodical mental analysis of current traffic patterns, “And from here it’d probably take an hour even in sunshine. My life is over, and the only person I can tell this to is some random donut shop girl!”

“Cakes and cookies,” Kara corrects instinctually. Miss Grant doesn’t come in until eleven on Mondays, if she moves fast enough maybe-

“What?” the woman sounds incredulous.  
  
Kara waves it off and moves towards her discarded tech.

“It’s a, uh.. Nevermind. So you need to get to Corporate Row, right?”

The woman just nods, finally taking notice of the severity in Kara’s eyes.  
  
“Give me your iPad,” she says with newfound authority in her voice.

“What?” the girl says, hesitation in her voice even while handing Kara her iPad.  
  
“Hang tight,” Kara says before racing out to the main lobby.  
  
Winn looks at her with trepidation, “Kara, is that girl okay?”  
  
“Water damage,” Kara says in reply, not answering his question at all. Her mind is already four steps ahead and she really needs him to catch up. “There are notes on here I need you to save. Can you do it?”  
  
Winn looks at her like she just told him she was an alien.

“I’m sorry, did you just ask me if I can do it? Did you ask if I, Winslow Schott, Jr., can somehow pull data off this sopping wet, mud-covered piece of plastic that looks like it’s been thrown against a concrete wall and RUN OVER?” Winn says in dramatic escalation. Kara just stares at him blankly. 

Winn nods.  
  
“Yeah, of course I can do it.”  
  
“Great!”  
  
Kara darts to the back and grabs two clean rags, running one under hot water real fast before sprinting back to the bathroom. The woman is much more composed now, though the weight of defeat permeates her presence.  
  
“I am very sorry for what you witnessed before,” she says, and her voice has an almost robotic nature to it, like she’d rehearsed every word beforehand. Kara immediately starts unbuttoning her shirt.  
  
The woman’s eyes go wide.  
  
“Wait, what are you-“  
  
“Quick! Take your clothes off!” Kara cuts her off, tossing her shirt on the counter before unbuckling her pants. A strange, throaty noise bubbles out of the panicking woman’s mouth.  
  
“Look, I don’t know what you think is happening, but you have severely misread this situation!” The woman’s voice is almost shrill now and Kara’s honestly never seen someone’s eyes go so wide. Confused, Kara looks down at her half-naked body before realizing how it must look.  
  
“No, I’m not- look. You need dry clothes for your presentation. I am dry. Ergo we need to switch clothes now.” 

The woman just stands there staring, which is the exact opposite of what she needs to be doing. Kara huffs a little bit in exacerbation and tugs her pants down. The woman’s eyes immediately follow their journey before rolling up fast to look at the ceiling, her skin journeying from sickly pale to deep ruddy red in the span of seconds.

“I-uh, I,” she’s shaking, and she looks so hesitant and afraid, so small in the face of this sudden social deviation, and all Kara wants is to help _fix this._  
  
“Listen, I can get you to your meeting but we have to leave, like, right now. So please. Take your clothes off.”  
  
The woman just stares at her for a long, hard second before slowly rolling her saturated blouse up and off her body.  
  
“If I see any pictures of this in the press I will destroy you,” she mumbles. Her words would have been a lot more intimidating had she not said them in such a petulant manner. Kara snorts.  
  
“What, are you famous or something?”  
  
The woman seems to stutter in her undressing, looking at Kara in surprise. Kara wonders then who this woman really is, if she is someone she should recognize. Honestly, it doesn’t matter and she doesn’t care.  
  
“Perhaps not,” the woman says after a moment, “considering you don’t know me.”  
  
“Exactly. Now here, wipe yourself down, dry off, and get dressed. We gotta go.”  
  
Kara sprints back out to find Winn sitting in the back with the destroyed tablet now in pieces, parts of it Kara assumes are the brain connected to Winn’s laptop.  
  
“Who the hell is this lady, Kara?” he asks, only to go red, “and why are you in your underwear?”  
  
“Focus, Winn! Can you get me the notes?”

“The encryption on this thing is top-notch, but maybe if I just,” a few more keystrokes and an _aha!_ from Winn and Kara’s running back to the bathroom with a freshly loaded flash drive in her hand. The woman is now cleaner and dressed in Kara’s clothes, bent at the waist rolling up the pants legs so they don’t drag.  

“Okay!” Kara exclaims, causing the woman to jump in surprise and nearly topple over on to the muddy floor, “Got your notes, now we gotta go!”

She grabs the woman’s hand and drags her back out to the main lobby before she can even get a word out in reply.  
  
“Kara wait!” Winn shouts, and the woman only just manages to not slam into her as she stops immediately. “You’re not- you’re wearing-” His face is so red and he can barely talk around his flustering, and Kara belatedly remembers she’s only wearing a bra and briefs. She laughs as the woman’s face goes red as well, and both her and Winn pointedly try not to look at her.  
  
“Wait here!” she says, sprinting back to the bathroom. The woman’s clothes are slopped in a pile and Kara can’t help but gag a bit at the chilly sensation of sliding the blouse and skirt on. _The sacrifices I make,_ she thinks to herself as chill bumps break out all over her skin. Now more than ever she’s determined to get this woman to her fucking presentation.  
  
Thankfully the rain has let up, although the dark clouds ahead threaten to burst at any moment.  
  
“I really shouldn’t get in the car of a stranger,” the woman says as she’s dragged around the corner, “I appreciate all your, er, help, but maybe I should just get a taxi.”  
  
“Lady, I promise you no taxi is going to get you across town in,” she looks at her watch, “11 minutes.” The woman just sighs in defeat, shrugging as if to say _what else could possibly go wrong?_ and lets Kara drag her to the back of the shop where a half-broken down truck was parked.  
  
The woman sneers a bit.  
  
“You want us to drive there in _this_?” she asks, but then shakes her head in a chastising way, “sorry, that was rude.”  
  
“Nah it’s fine, Winn’s truck is a dump. Which is why we’ll be riding in style!”  
  
She pulls her around the corner to reveal the only possible machine on wheels that could feasibly get them across town on this time crunch: the CatCo cookie delivery Vespa scooter.  
  
It’s a new acquisition for the business that Kara’s been so excited for, as she’s always had to make her deliveries on foot. Now she’s got this stylish scoot that she’s hoping, maybe, Miss Grant will let her borrow sometimes. Walking everywhere all the time gets kind of annoying.  
  
“Miss Grant let me pick it out,” Kara says with a proud smile. The woman is just looking at her in a way she can’t quite decipher, but she’s sure it’s something like respect or attraction.  
  
“Anyway, we don’t have time. We gotta go!”  
  
The woman just looks up at the sky and lets out the longest sigh before giving in and just climbing on behind her.  
  
“Are you sure this thing can get us there?”

“Trust me,” Kara says with a smirk, slapping her helmet visor down over her face. “I can fly.”

Kara revs the engine and immediately the otherwise quiet alley they’re parked in is filled with the sound of a voice chanting _CatCo_ over and over again. Whenever she accelerates, the sound system built into the scoot plays one of a small handful of words and phrases (such as CatCo, Cookies and Cakes, or Cat Grant for some reason). Apparently Miss Grant stole the idea from some company over in Europe. 

The woman lets out a squeak of surprise and digs her grip even further into Kara’s sides.  
  
“What the hell is that?!” the woman yells, trying to be heard over the repetitive phrase blaring in time to the engine.  
  
“Oh, uh, Miss Grant thought that would be a cool way to advertise!”  
  
_CatCoCatCoCatCoCatCoCatCoCatCo_  
  
“What?”  
  
_mmmmCookies! mmmmCakes! mmmmCookies!_  
  
“I said it’s _advertising!”_  
  
CatGrantCatGrantCatGrantCatGrant  
  
“What are you saying?”  
  
Kara sighs.  
  
“Nevermind!” Obviously there are still some kinks in the system to work out.  
  
They turn onto 8th street only to slam to a sliding halt as Kara just barely manages to stop them from crashing into a truck. 

Traffic is at a standstill. Sirens blare from two streets over, suggesting an accident ahead. Cars are bumper to bumper with no room for their scoot to scooch through. They are in the middle of the shopping district, the street lined with sidewalk shops and pop-ups. She hears the woman sigh and lean her helmet against her shoulder.  
  
“Thank you for trying,” she says.  
  
Kara revs the engine twice, shouting a confident, “this isn’t over!” with a chorus of _CatGrantCatGrant_ s backing her up. The woman barely has time to grab on again before Kara yanks the steering to the left to bring the scoot up and over the curb. They weave dangerously down the sidewalk, dodging pedestrians left and right, flying dangerously above walking speed. Kara ignores the yells and curses shouted at them, her mind already four streets ahead, and with a confidence she’s never felt before she turns swiftly left down a dark and seemingly endless alleyway. Kara knows every back alley in this city and she knows this path will get them there without even taking them on the streets.  
  
“You’re not a serial killer are you?” the woman yells, possibly startled by the pitch black alleyway Kara suddenly takes them down.  
  
“You know,” Kara says as she floors it around a corner, hitting a fast 15 mph, “if I was a serial killer I definitely wouldn’t just say yes when someone asked!”  
  
“Oh god,” the woman says, and Kara just laughs as she grips her waist even tighter, the soft melodic sound of _CatCoCatcoCatco_ following along with them.  


* * *

  
Her presentation is scheduled at 11:00 AM. The CatCo Cookies and Cakes delivery scoot comes flying across the open business plaza at 10:58.

  
“Holy shit,” the woman breathes out as she climbs off with shaky legs, “you actually did it.”  
  
“We did it!” Kara says. She grabs the helmet from shaky hands and gives the woman a light shove. “Now you go finish this!”  
  
The woman just looks at her with confusion and wonder, her mouth fluttering a bit like she’s trying to find the right words for this. There are no right words for moments like this.  
  
“Go!” Kara says again, giving her another gentle shove. Finally the woman just nods, shakes her head, and then nods again before taking off towards the building entrance in Kara’s bright pink button up and too large pants. Just like that Kara becomes intimately aware of just how uncomfortable the woman’s tight, cold, damp clothing is to wear. With a sigh, she slaps her visor back down and scoots away.  


* * *

  
Miss Grant is waiting for her with a mop and a glare that could sink ships.  
  
“Oh, Kiera,” she drawls, “how nice of you to join us again! You know, Winslow has been coming up with the most creative lies to explain why my opener decided to run off with our brand new company vehicle for an hour.”  
  
Kara can see her life flashing before her eyes and it looks a lot like scrubbing the floor with her toothbrush. Miss Grant would probably make her bring her actual toothbrush from home to do it. Maybe she should invest in that fancy one with rubber bristles -  
  
“Kiera!” Miss Grant snaps. Apparently she’d been talking this whole time. “Why are you dressed like that?”  
  
Sheepishly Kara glances down at her too tight, still damp clothes, trying to formulate an excuse, but Miss Grant just moves on without waiting, “I don’t know why my essentially homeless employee has come into possession of a stained yet exceedingly expensive wardrobe, nor do I really care to find out.”  
  
“I’m only technically homeless,” Kara mutters a bit uselessly, but Miss Grant soldiers on,  
  
“I’m going home, as is Winslow. But because you decided to take an unscheduled midday break I trust you will be fine with working the late shift today as well, yes? And you can clean up the mess you somehow made in the bathroom- buh-buh-buh,” she holds her hand up, cutting off Kara’s attempt to explain, “I don’t want to know. Just clean up your mess, work your shift, and never do it again.”

  
All things considered, Kara thinks she got off easy.

* * *

  
Late shift isn’t so bad, honestly, as the only folks who order cookies at 3 am are either pulling all-nighters studying or battling the munchies. Much more preferable to some of the snootier clientele they get in this area. She wonders how the woman from earlier fits in here, if she’s a student or a wealthy socialite. It was an interview that they had to get to, so maybe she’s trying for an internship at the new L Corp headquarters that’ve opened downtown. _Good luck with that,_ Kara thinks as she drags the soapy mop across the bathroom floor, _you’d need a PhD and a first class pedigree just to mop the floors in that building._  
  
Once the bathrooms are clean of all the day’s muddy remains Kara drags the dirty bucket and mop to go rinse them out. She glances at the front of the store then only to see that there’s a business woman standing at the counter.  
  
Surprised to see anyone in the store so late at night, Kara rushes to wash her hands before going to help.  
  
“Hi, can I help you?” Kara asks. The woman gives her a tremulous smile.  
  
“Oh good! You’re,” she clears her throat, “you’re still here.”

Kara doesn’t even recognize her at first. In her defense, the only time she’s ever seen her is really either in her underwear or in Kara’s clothes, so when mystery wet lady comes marching in to CatCo looking put together and clean it’s understandable for Kara not to immediately recognize. The moment she does, though, her whole face lights up in a grin, causing the woman’s smile to grow a little bigger, a little more steady.  
  
“You’re here!” she all but yells, and the woman barely has time to react before Kara is throwing her arms around her into a tight hug. “I’m so happy you’re here! And look at you, you look so pretty! How did it go? Tell me everything.”

It takes a few seconds for the woman to properly react. She seems to still be processing the sudden physical contact, and Kara does tend to talk a mile a minute sometimes when she’s excited. Alex says one day she’s gonna be so focused on getting all the words out she won’t remember to take any in and she’ll just stop breathing all together. Alex is kind of a jerk sometimes.  
  
Finally, the woman speaks.  
  
“It went very well,” she says slowly, carefully. Every word she speaks when not in a crisis seems carefully selected. “I wanted to thank you for that. I would have never achieved it had you not gone so above and beyond.”  
  
Kara just shrugs, beaming at her.  
  
“Gotta always put the customer first, right?” she says, laughing a bit awkwardly.  
  
“Do you usually strip for customers?” The woman asks, then seems to realize what she says. Her face goes bright red and she looks away but Kara just laughs.  
  
“Only if they really need it,” she teases. She laughs even harder this time as the woman’s face goes an even darker shade and belatedly she wonders if the woman might faint from all that blood moving so quickly to her face. Instead of fainting, she just nods, then seems to remember part of why she’s there.  
  
“Right. Oh!” she looks down to the bag in her arms. “I brought you your clothes. Thank you again for that.”  
  
“No worries. Oh man! Did you dry clean them? Wow, that’s neat. How did you even have time to do that?”  
  
The woman just shakes her head and shrugs half-heartedly, runs her fingers through her hair and glances at the door. Kara presses on,  
  
“Hey! What’s your favorite kind of cookie?”  
  
The polite shock on her face makes Kara think that’s a question no one has asked her in a long time, if ever.  
  
“Chocolate chip,” she says after a long moment. Kara immediately reaches into the display by the counter and pulls out the biggest cookie in the bunch and hands it to her with a beaming smile. Confused but smiling, the woman goes to pull her purse out only to freeze as a warm hand closes on top of her own.  
  
“No, no! You nailed your presentation today even when you were scared. That means your cookie is on the house.”

Instantly she sees tears misting over the woman’s eyes and she can’t help but pull her into a tight hug. The woman lets out a tiny huff but allows herself to be pressed against Kara’s chest, eventually bringing her hands up to grip at her back.  
  
“Thank you,” she says against Kara’s shoulder, barely above a whisper. The moment feels heavier than it should, standing in the lobby of a cookie shop in the arms of a stranger. They stand like that for a while, Kara’s not even sure really, before finally the woman pulls away. Clearing her throat and wiping her eye, the woman smiles gently at her.  
  
“I should go now. I just wanted to give you your clothes. Thank you for the cookie.”  
  
“Of course. Oh, do you want your clothes back? I haven’t had time to wash them-” the woman just waves her words off.  
  
“Please. Keep them, throw them away, I don’t care, but I really must be going. Have a good night.”  
  
And with that she slips out the door and heads to a car idling outside.  
  
Kara stands at the front and watches until the woman is safely in the car, then goes back to closing up the shop. As she packs her bag to leave she notices something tucked into the front pocket of her newly returned pants.  
  
It’s two hundred dollar bills, folded over a post-it note that has written in blocky sprawl:  
_Thank you._  
_Sincerely._  
_xx Lena_

Kara hasn’t held more than a twenty in her hands in a long time so she’s not quite sure what to do with it. A part of her wants to chase after her, give it back because there’s no way she meant to give Kara _two hundred dollars._ But when she steps out the front all she sees are empty streets and dark windows, the city finally winding down to rest all around.  
  
With a shocked, stutter of a sigh, Kara carefully slides the money into the sole of her shoe not trusting that much money to stay safe in her pockets.  
  
As she closes up the shop, she can’t help but wonder if she’ll ever see Lena again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scoot inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n17B_uFF4cA)


	2. glad I didn't die before I met you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara talk. Kara tries to talk to rude strangers. Kara talks to Lena. The author talks to herself, probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. it's because of who I am as a person.
> 
> Also I'm working my way through the tv show Rectify right now, which is set in Georgia and full of terrible fake Southern accents. I was raised in Georgia and have never lived anywhere but the south, but I'd say I really don't have much of an accent. But because I've been watching so much of this tv show I've started saying certain things with a very fake Southern twang that I would otherwise never use. It's all very strange to experience, but if some phrasing in this chapter feels a bit colloquial know its at least partially inspired by that. I suggest reading the entire chapter out loud to yourself in a very fake southern accent. Only then will you truly feel the full impact.

Kara’s painting when Alex comes home.  
  
This in itself is not an unusual or surprising event, of course, but it does cause her to pull back from the meditative state she had only just managed to reach. Her painting is nearly done she thinks, its swirls of reds and yellows and chunky greens stretching out from the center mass. She wants to add black to it, feels like that is what will make it really complete, but she hasn’t had access to black paint in a while. She can hear Alex place her keys in the bowl by the door and step up behind her.

  
“Hey Kara?”  
  
Maybe she can swipe some black food coloring from work. Miss Grant is strict on having employees there at the right times but loose with everything else. It’s not a well-kept secret how much of the store’s products both she and Winn consume throughout the day. If she’s being honest, Kara’s pretty sure CatCo is a money laundering front.

  
“Yeah Alex?” she realizes she hadn’t responded. Alex is right behind her now, watching her paint over her shoulder. Kara traces her thumb through the yellow smudge she’d made, causing it to swirl alongside a particularly bold streak of red. Her insides feel like fire, all the time. This painting kind of feels like fire, too.  
  
“Is there a reason you’re smearing condiments all over that piece of cardboard?”  

  
Kara glances down at the half squeezed out tubes of mustard, ketchup, and relish collecting beside her and tries not be offended.  
  
“I don’t like the way you said cardboard just now, young lady. I’ll have you know my canvas is very significant, artistically. It’s commentary on the disposable nature of art in today’s society-"

  
Alex just looks at her with skeptical sisterly eyes.

  
“-Not to mention my decision to use condiments! Obviously I’m making a statement on how media is consumed like fast food.”  
  
"So," Alex drawls, “You can’t afford art supplies.”

“Yeah no I’m like, crazy broke.”  
  
Kara puffs her chest out a bit, jumping up to go wash the smears off her hands, but not without first licking at her palms to get some of it. She washes the muddied colors down the drain. Her hands feel extra smooth now, at least. Totally a bonus.  
  
“Ah. Well please throw out your social commentary when you’re done with it. I really don’t want to deal with ants right now.”  
  
Kara fake gasps, clutching her chest like Alex’s very words have strangled her.  
  
“You want me to throw away my masterpiece?” she all but shouts at her now retreating sister, who has ducked into her bedroom to change.  
  
“You’re the one who said it was about disposability,” Alex shouts back, “what better way could you honor it?”  
  
Damn. Well played.

Kara notices then the huge stack of groceries Alex has deposited on the counter - way more than she usually buys for the two of them. Even with Kara’s colossal appetite she doesn’t need this much in a week. Then, Kara remembers.  
  
“Oh my god, Alex!” she shouts, sprinting through her tiny one bedroom apartment and all but barreling her sister over, “LUCY IS COMING HOME!”

Alex laughs and hugs her back. Her face relaxes in a way it almost never does these days, not unless Lucy’s involved. That alone is reason enough for Kara to love Lucy endlessly.  
  
“I know! I can’t believe her flight in is next week! You’re still gonna drive us from the airport right?” 

They move to the kitchen to start putting away groceries. The small space barely holds their foods, so adding enough for a third has pushed it to overflow. They end up just stacking bags of chips and bread on the floor beside the counter.  
  
“Yep,” Kara says, searching out an empty space for a particularly large can of diced tomatoes to go. Maybe she could balance the flower pot Eliza gave Alex when she moved in on top of the can? Mmm seems risky. “I’ll drive so you guys can mount each other the whole way home.”  
  
Alex scoffs.  
  
“We’re not gonna mount each other, Kara. We aren’t horses. I mean we might fondle a bit, but-”  
  
“Ok gross,” Kara gags out, earning a bark of a laugh from her sister.  She remembers then the topic she’d been avoiding all week, the one she really has to broach sooner than later. She clears her throat, but Alex cuts her off.  
  
“Hey, Kara, is there any way you could maybe go crash at Winn’s house for a few days? Just at first. We haven’t, you know, seen each other really in almost a year, so-“  
  
“So you wanna bang without your baby sister sleeping one thin wall away?”  
  
Alex makes a hilarious choked sound.  
  
“Okay, now who is being gross?”  
  
Kara shoves Alex playfully, shoves a bag of spinach into the barely there space left in the fridge. This apartment is barely enough space for one person, and soon three are going to be here. Kara has to tell her.

“I, uh, wanted to talk to you about that, actually.” 

Alex looks at her in horror and Kara stumbles out, “Not about your sex life, you weirdo! About,” she clears her throat, looks away, “about maybe getting my own place, soon.”  
  
She’s pretty sure she could hear all the air being sucked out of the room then, and she doesn’t have the nerve to look at Alex but she just knows she’s frozen in place. This is a hard subject to broach, no matter how much mental preparation she’s done for it. After a few more loaded seconds, Alex finally manages a quiet, “Oh?” It’s invitation enough.  
  
“Yeah! I just, I’ve really appreciated you letting me stay here for so long, but Lucy’s coming, you know? She’s got leave for three months! I mean, have you guys even spent that much time together since _high school?_ ”  
  
Alex looks conflicted and like she’s about to argue so Kara barrels on.  
  
“No, you haven’t. And I know you want to spend time with your girlfriend - who you _never_ get to see - and me sleeping in your living room isn’t gonna make it all that fun for any of us. And I really just,” she looks at Alex now, catching her concerned eyes, “I really think I’m ready, now?”  
  
“How do you know?” Alex asks, and her voice breaks a little bit. Kara lets out a self-deprecating laugh, shakes her head.  
  
“I don’t think we ever really know. Sometimes we just gotta do it anyway and hope for the best.”  
  
Alex is crying a bit now, a tear slipping down her face before she could wipe it away with a sniffle.  
  
“You are always welcome here, Kara. No matter what.”  
  
Kara smiles softly at her, grabs her hand with a soft squeeze.  
  
“I know I am. But it’s been seven months, you know? I just really think its time.” Alex is nodding, not because she believes what Kara is saying so much as she just needs to react in some way that isn’t crying. “I’ve been looking at places, too. I’m talking to a landlord right now about a place on third.”  
  
Alex lets out a wet laugh, surprised.

“You’ve been thinking about this for a while, then.” Kara nods. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kara shrugs, looks away.  
  
“I guess I knew you’d react like, well,” she gestures to Alex’s tears. Alex huffs, face scrunching in teary annoyance.

“I don’t need to be coddled, Kara,” she teases, but Kara just tilts her head a bit, gives her a serious look.  
  
“Neither do I.”  
  
Alex seems to accept it then, at that. She knows her sister, knows that when her mind is made up there is no changing it. It’s just so hard, when you want to hold tight and protect someone who only ever wants to fly. 

They smile at each other then - Kara with relief at having told the secret weighing on her soul and Alex with sad pride at the strong woman her sister has become - and hold each other’s gaze until Kara’s phone beeps an alarm.  
  
“Ah! Well,” Kara clears her throat that had mysteriously thickened a bit during this sisterly moment (she wasn’t gonna cry! she’s not a baby like Alex) “looks like it’s time for work! I have a big delivery today, like three cakes or something to a party?”  
  
Alex makes a small noise of disapproval.  
  
“That sounds like a lot,” she says, because even after all this her first instinct is always to protect her sister, “Are you sure you should be carrying all that? The doctor said-”

“I know what the doctor said, Alex, and I’ll be fine! See you later!”  
  
She sprints out of the apartment before Alex can say anything else.

* * *

  
Kara slams the tiny scoot trunk shut with her hip, just barely balancing her delivery in her arms. Somehow all four of the fairly large boxes she’s delivering fit into the scoot. She’s so proud.

There’s no way she can carry them all at once, though, despite her bravado. She has two in her hands now and plans to come back for the others. Hopefully she doesn’t have to walk up a lot of stairs, that’d suck. Belatedly Kara realizes the building she’s now entering is the same one that fun weird girl Lena works at now. Maybe they’ll run into each other. That'd be nice, Lena seemed nice.  
  
Kara’s thoughts are cut off the second she steps in to what has to be the most extravagant building she’s ever seen. Even the floors look expensive, and they're so shiny Kara can even see the small cluster of acne happening on her temple from where she’d sat her face against her hand for too long. She’s pretty sure if she squints she’ll be able to see her eyelashes.  
  
She approaches the massive front desk but can’t even get a word out before she’s being ushered to a much less extravagant hallway where she and the boxes are poked, prodded, and scanned. She steps through her fourth metal detector and tries not to whimper in horror when a guard takes a knife and chops into her carefully made cakes, checking for weapons or explosives or surprise chocolate filling. It’s more thorough than the TSA, and nearly twice as invasive if she’s honest. _Does the pope work here or something?_ she wonders as her now murdered cakes are shoved back into her hands and she’s directed to a golden elevator.

The inside at least looks normal, with plain walls and disinterested looking people in business attire. Kara squeezes her way in, cakes delicately balanced in her arms, and is relieved to see the floor she’s headed already pressed. It’s kind of awkward and more than ever Kara is aware of how bright her CatCo top is, how there are holes in the soles of her shoes that squish every time she walks. The watch the man next to her is wearing probably costs more than everything she owns combined. Granted she doesn’t own that much, but still. It’s the principle of the matter.  
  
So Kara does what she always does when faced with an uncomfortable social situation: she starts to talk.

“How’s everybody’s day going?” she says, breaking the smothering silence. No one even blinks in acknowledgement. The floors tick by at a sluggish pace. She thinks about the cakes in her hands that say “Congratulations Jerry! Happy Retirement!”

“So your boss is retiring, huh? That's fun!” Kara continues, never one to back down from a challenge. “Do you guys know who is taking their place?” That, finally, somehow gets a reaction. Every person in the elevator immediately flinches or groans or scoffs. Some do all three at once.

“You mean the witch?” One chimes in. 

“God, I can't believe,” Another starts.

“Does she really think a new city will help her reputation?” Someone from the back adds.  
  
“-think is gonna happen?” someone’s mumbling, words only just filtering to Kara’s ears.

“They should have just arrested all the Luthors and thrown away the key.”  
  
Everyone seems to agree with that, as a chorus of affirmations echo throughout. Not quite the kind of conversation Kara was aiming for, but at least its something. Kara waits just a few beats hoping an answer will come without asking, before finally inquiring,

“I'm sorry, who are the Luthors?”   
  
And just like that the tiny box is filled with shock and annoyance and disdain, now all directed at her rather than this allegedly evil woman.

  
“What, have you been living under a rock for the past year?” the woman who’d first responded sneers.

  
“Um,” she says, and thinks of her hospital bed.

  
 the woman continues before she could possibly respond,

  
“They're all evil, and just because she’s never been caught doing something doesn’t mean she’s innocent. We all know she’s not gonna be any different.”

  
That doesn’t quite sit right with Kara.

“Well, sometimes people can surprise you, if you give them the chance.”

That just earns her more scoffs and, _oh thank god_ , they’ve almost reached their floor. The elevator stops then to pick someone else up and Kara silently prays this will be the last one before their floor.

  
Then the doors open, and Lena is there. 

  
Kara feels her entire spirit lift up at the sight of her.

  
“Lena!” She yells a bit too loud for a cramped elevator, not noticing the universal flinch across the elevator. “I was hoping I'd see you!”

  
Lena for her part only looks surprised for a few moments before giving Kara a muted grin.

“Hello again. Fancy meeting you here.”

Everyone on the elevator shuffles back to let Lena on, practically pressing themselves to the walls around them to give her space. If Lena notices she doesn’t react, her eyes still soft and on Kara. For her part, Kara’s just glad she finally found a friendly place in this elitist hellhole.

  
“Wow it is so nice to see you! Are you going to the retirement party? That’s so cool. You must be very smart to get a job here.”

Kara doesn’t really notice the shocked looks of horror all of Lena’s coworkers are throwing them. Really all she sees is the red tinge in Lena’s face, the barely there smile creeping up at the corners of her lips.

Soon the doors open to the floor they’re all headed towards and Kara is nearly bowled over by the rush of everyone trying to escape at once. Lena shoots her a sympathetic look before guiding her to the small kitchenette to set up her first two desserts. It’s almost overwhelming, how much incredible food is already set up for this party. Lena must notice the downright lustful look in her eyes because she laughingly says, “you can eat some if you’d like.”  
  
Kara stutters, shaking her head in an exaggerated way.  
  
“What? No! I, I couldn’t. I’m not,” there’s already a tiny sandwich in her hands, “well I mean if you really insist I guess I could just,” she grabs a cluster of grapes and slinks after Lena as she walks away.  
  
Employees are milling about, sipping on sodas and looking uncomfortable. Lena is hovering, flattening and re-flattening her shirt while skittishly looking from person to person. No one is talking to her, no one is even looking at her. It looks for a second like she might talk to a small cluster near the punch bowl, but all that really happens is the group laughs at a joke and Lena quietly chuckles from afar despite not being close enough to hear.

 It’s… really painful.  
  
“Hey Lena,” Kara calls, and its like every conversation in the room stops at once. A little startled but determined, Kara continues, “I still have some stuff I need to bring up. Wanna come help me get it?”  
  
Suddenly everyone is talking at once, practically clamoring over each other with loud exclamations of “oh no I can help! Don’t worry, I’ve got it! No I can” before Lena quietly but confidently says that yes, she’d love to help Kara. Everyone shoots them desperate little looks as they get on the elevator together, not speaking again until the doors close. God, this is the weirdest office Kara has ever been in in her _life._

“Felt like you needed a rescue there,” Kara finally says, and Lena lets out a loud sigh.  
  
“Thank you for that.”  
  
“Don’t sweat it. The first couple of weeks on a job are always painful, plus your coworkers kind of seem like assholes.”

Lena laughs.  
  
 “No I’m sure they’re not all that bad. They just don’t know how to act around me. It’s understandable.” Kara can’t help but scoff at that.

“How would they need to act? Just talk to you like you’re a person. It’s not that hard.”

Lena just gives her a look that she can’t decipher, one she seems to be getting more and more with every interaction they have. It really feels like everyone in this building is speaking a language Kara just doesn’t quite understand. Kara tries to change the topic.

“So, are _you_ excited about the new boss?” she tries.

Lena snorts so hard she chokes for a minute, and she shakes off Kara’s amused pats to her back. After regaining some control, she laughs, says,  
  
“As excited as I can be, I guess.”  
  
Okay, not a rousing cheer but much better than the witch burning vibe Kara’d felt from the others.  
  
“That’s the spirit! Everybody else has such a bad attitude, but I think it’s great you guys are getting a new lady boss. Although she’s a Luthor, which is also apparently a bad thing.”  
  
Kara has literally no idea what she’s talking about, but she wants to be relatable and at least seem like she’s in the know. Everyone else seems to know something so she can play along too, right? Only maybe she isn’t doing so well at it, because Lena’s amused smile has started to look a lot more like a hurt frown.  
  
“Are you making a joke right now?” she says with pain her voice, and yep! Kara definitely fucked up. She really needs to get caught up on cultural references before she just starts talking about stuff.  
  
“Er, no? Or I’m not trying to, at least,” she finally says, looking down, disappointed in herself a bit. Lena touches her shoulder then to bring her attention back and _wow_ is she giving Kara an intense look.  
  
“Kara,” she says slowly, earnest, “Do you not know who the Luthors are?” She asks like it’s the most important question she’s ever asked before in her life. God, Kara needs to catch up with society.  
  
“Is it terrible if I say I don’t?” she finally says, rubbing her neck sheepishly. “Everybody else seems to, though. Sorry if I’m kind of socially stunted.”

  
She pulls her phone out at that and pulls up a browser, manages to just type LUT into her search before Lena slams her hand down over the screen.

Her eyes are a bit frantic when they meet Kara’s and she seems to take a moment to regain some control, clearing her throat and letting go of the phone.

“No, don’t, it’s not,” she clears her throat again, “they’re not important. Just the people who own the company. That’s why everyone here knows them, but it’s not a name you’d need to know.”

“Ohhh! That makes me feel a lot better!”  Being out of the corporate loop is not worth sweating.  
  
Lena seems to visibly relax when Kara slips her phone back into her pocket instead of continuing her search, and Kara makes a small mental note to look the name up later. It still feels important.  
  
“Well, what about you? Do you like this Luthor lady?” Kara asks.  
  
Lena seems struck by her question and takes a long while to think on it. Kara appreciates that; people don’t always take her seriously and having someone put genuine thought into her questions is validating.  
  
“I’m not a huge fan,” Lena finally says, slow and careful, “but I think she’s trying her best. I think she wants to do the right thing for everybody.”  
  
Kara can’t help but smile at that.  
  
“That’s such a great outlook!” Lena is a breath of fresh air in this stifling environment, “Well, I like this Luthor lady too, then. All we can ask is for people to do their best, right? And try not to judge them too much on who they were before.”  
  
Lena’s looking at her in that peculiar sort of way that Kara can’t quite distinguish, and it makes her a bit uncomfortable so she just shrugs and mumbles, “I’m a big fan of giving people chances, I guess.”

They step off the elevator and approach the lobby. Weirdly they are waved through without hesitation; guess the guards don’t check as thoroughly when you’re leaving.

There seems to be an internal fight happening in Lena’s eyes at that, and it seems for a moment like she might be about to say something when Kara’s phone chirps. 

She glances down to see an email from the landlord she’s been going back and forth with, and she can’t help but sigh at the subject line of “LISTING NO LONGER AVAILABLE” 

Lena is immediately on alert. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” she asks incessantly, glancing nervously around the lobby they’re walking through like maybe a threat lurks nearby.  
  
“No, it’s fine. I just,” she sighs again, “An apartment I was looking at is gone. It was basically the only one in my price range. It’s so hard to find a place to live in this city.”

They reach the CatCo scoot and each grab one of the boxes. She’s running a little late now, hopefully Miss Grant won’t notice. Besides, she likes talking to Lena. She’s nice.  
  
“There are empty condos in my building,” Lena says as they walk into the lobby. “You can have one if you’d like.”  
  
The words slip by unnoticed mostly, as Kara is a bit distracted by the security, or rather lack thereof, as they walk back in. The same security guard who murdered her beautiful sheet cake not even an hour before waves them through without so much as a scan, just nodding in deference. Honestly, Kara only half heard what Lena said.  
  
“Nah, any place that calls itself a condo is way out of my budget. Thanks for thinking of that, though.”

She’s trying to contain the anger building inside of her on behalf of her murdered sheet cake. Lena huffs a bit, shaking her head.  
  
“No, that’s not what I-“ she pauses, then says, “Okay, what is your budget?”

“Honestly? I could pay maybe $300 a month, which in this town would barely get me a floor to sleep on. At this rate I might just have to move back home. Maybe National City just isn’t for me.”  
  
Lena reaches out to grab her then, a look of pure panic in her eyes.  
  
“Don’t move back! The condos,” she clears her throat, calms her words down to a steadier pace, “They’re actually a special deal. Only $200 a month.” Her words sound confident but her face looks a bit constipated.  
  
Kara just looks at her skeptically and exits the elevator as they arrive back on their floor.  
  
“Where do you live that condos are only $200? A dump?”  
  
A woman standing near them suddenly chokes into her drink, causing soda to dribble all down her chin and top. Lena walks determinedly on.  
  
“I know the building owner, and I can guarantee that price.”  
  
Lena’s shaking now, she realizes, nervously trembling with fire in her eyes. There really is no way Kara could say no outright to this.  
  
“Tell you what,” she says instead, smiling, “what if you and I went and did a tour of the place and maybe talk to the owner?”  
  
Pure joy seems to rush over Lena at that, and immediately Kara knows she made the right decision.  
  
“Perhaps tomorrow?” Lena’s voice is so hopeful and nervous in equal measures. 

“Sure! Let me see your phone.” Lena barely hesitates to hand it over - after all, if Kara wanted to steal her tech she’d have stolen it in the bathroom. Not that she would. She’s not a monster, gosh. Kara types in her phone number real fast and sends herself a text from Lena’s phone. She feels good now, even if this doesn’t work out. Even just hanging out with Lena for a day would be fun.

  
“Thank you, Lena,” she says, “For trying to help me like this. You barely even know me.”  
  
Lena laughs at that, disbelief shining in her eyes.  
  
“I know enough,” she finally says. Kara feels a tug at her heart.

“Can I tell you something kind of weird?” Kara asks. Lena just nods, and Kara takes a moment to fully compose her thoughts.  
  
“I feel like my entire life was a puzzle, right? And I didn’t really love the picture it was making but I was still really good at putting it together. And then one day the whole thing just got… knocked right off the table, and all the pieces broke in half. And I just don’t know if I have it in me to start putting it back together again, you know? I’m not even sure if I want to anymore.”

Lena lets out a shuddery sigh, and Kara only just then notices the slight watery sheen to her eyes. Wow, she’s two for two at making ladies cry today. Killing it, Danvers.  
  
“I can understand that,” Lena finally says with a sad smile. “Sometimes life gives you a puzzle that looks nothing like what you want, but you’re not sure you’re even allowed to pick a different one.”

“Right. But anyway, the reason I say that is, well. I always feel like games are better with friends, you know? So maybe we can figure out our crappy puzzles together.” 

Lena really looks like she might burst into tears on the spot there so Kara decides its probably best to leave now. She smiles at Lena and walks backwards on to the elevator, never looking away even as she fumbles to press what she hopes is the lobby button.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Lena!” she calls, and only just hears Lena’s reply as the doors slide shut.  
  
“See you tomorrow, Kara.”  
  
Kara is stopped by security on the way out and forced to go through a five minute search.  
  
She forgets to look up the name Luthor.

* * *

  
Kara’s asleep on the couch when Alex stumbles home. She doesn’t wake until her sister slams the door just a bit too hard. She blinks her way back into consciousness to the sounds of Alex cursing quietly under her breath. This is the second time this week Alex has stumbled home drunk like this. Kara’s concerned, but she keeps her eyes closed and breathes slow.

She can hear Alex fumble with her shoes, hit the coffee table, nearly fall to the ground. Can feel the way Alex leans over her to hold her hand in front of Kara’s face. Drunk Alex always checks her breathing. Sober Alex might, too, she’s not sure. She may just be better about not waking her.  
  
Kara lets out a slow, controlled breath, and she can hear the relief in Alex’s sigh at the feel of it.  
  
“Still good,” Alex murmurs quietly to herself as she stumbles to her room, “still alive.”  
  
Kara doesn’t fall asleep for awhile after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang I wonder what happened to Kara seven months ago that's made her live on Alex's couch? A mystery no one knows ((I know))
> 
> Coming up next: Lena takes Kara to look at the biggest condo of her life, holy cow Lena there is no way this is only $200?? Who is this mysterious property owner?
> 
> Also Lucy comes home! Maybe! We'll see. Love you all come yell at me on tumblr @karalovesallthegirls


	3. take my wallet if you want it now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the sugar baby lifestyle begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cut this chapter in half so I could go ahead and get an update out so its a bit shorter than normal. Next one should be quicker. 
> 
> This chapter, like all chapters, is best consumed in the nude

This has to be a joke, right? 

There is no way this is the address. She double checked it with Lena three times the other day, but there’s _no way_ this $200 apartment is located in this high rise building deep in the wealthy district of uptown National City. Pristine marble tile covers the entrance in swirling mosaics, the deep-set patterns dancing from the outside doors all the way to the front desk. Part of Kara feels like she needs to take off her shoes to even go into the building; most of Kara feels like this is all a mean-spirited prank by her supposed new friend. It doesn’t seem like something Lena would do, although admittedly Kara only knows so much about the other girl. One thing she does know, however, is that there is no logical reason an apartment in a building like this would be within her micro budget. Tightening her grip on her bag, Kara walks into the lobby.

A polite but firm doorman waits just inside with a small metal detector held in gloved hands. He traces the machine over her backpack, smiles at her. Kara shifts uncomfortably and wonders what he thinks of her mud-stained bag and thrifted jacket.   
  
“I’m sorry, I think I’m lost,” she says to fill the silence. “I’m supposed to meet my friend to look at an apartment, but-”  
  
“Are you Miss Kara?” he cuts in. Kara blanches, but nods. He smiles again, the lines on his face deep and defined from years of friendly expressions.   
  
“No, Miss Kara. They’re expecting you upstairs.”

Despite his gentle tone she feels dread waft over her like a thick fog, and it takes a bit of inner strength to nod and walk to the elevator. So apparently this is somehow, unbelievably, exactly where she is supposed to be.

She tries not to startle when she realizes he has followed on to the elevator with her. Her silent questioning is answered when she realizes there are no buttons on the immaculately polished walls, just a thin slit for a card key to go in. He pulls one seemingly out of thin air and slides it in with a small confirming beep. The doors slide shut and soon they are moving up so smoothly Kara doesn’t even feel it begin.

“When it’s all settled you’ll get your own key,” he says after a moment, breaking the somewhat tense silence.

She has no idea how to respond to that. 

In a matter of seconds the elevator opens to a short monochromatic hallway, at the end of which is a door partially propped open. Kara can hear voices whisper-yelling back and forth, although she can’t quite make out the words. She knocks gently and the voices go silent. Slowly, Kara peeks in.  
  
It is, without a doubt, the biggest apartment Kara has ever seen in her entire life. 

With high ceilings and dark wood floors, the main room seems to stretch endlessly into the sky - partially due to the floor-to-ceiling windows covering the entire eastern wall - resulting in a breathtaking view of upper National City. The walls have an industrial feel to them, mostly comprised of chunky concrete with smatterings of underlying brick peeking through. And there, standing in the middle of it all, was Lena, standing with a woman Kara had never seen before.  
  
“Kara!” Lena yells before clearing her throat, then saying more quietly, “lovely to see you. This is Jess, she is the property manager here.”  
  
Jess, for her part, looks thoroughly unimpressed.  
  
“Yep. That is now the job that I have apparently. I’m the property manager here.”

  
Kara is painfully aware of how small she feels then, standing with these two confusing women in a giant empty loft.   
  
“Lena,” Kara says with a questioning chuckle, “this is a joke, right?”  
  
Jess snorts but Lena just looks thoroughly confused.  
  
“No, Kara! This is the apartment I told you about! Jess, tell her.”  
  
Lena shoves Jess forward a bit, a gesture the other woman clearly did not appreciate. With a sigh, Jess begins:  
  
“Built in 2014, our condos blend state-of-the art amenities with a rustic, industrial feel-”  
  
Kara can’t help but tune out the scripted spiel as she walks around the big open space, Lena trailing awkwardly behind her. Kara’s lived in a small handful of places in her life, and she’s pretty sure they all would have fit easily inside this condo. If anything, Kara is an expert at compact living.

She didn’t have a lot of stuff as a kid, even before her parents died. What things she did have were more or less lost during the four years she spent shuffled through the foster care system. By the time the Danvers adopted her she had nothing left from the life she lived before aside from one thing - the red baby blanket she’d had that day, clutched tight in her hands when Clark managed to break the dented lock off her car seat and pull her free from the burning wreckage that had been her family’s van. She wouldn’t let go of it for anything that day when he pulled her out and no one else. No one else but them. They were too far gone he said. Don’t look, he said, we have to get away from it. Don’t look, but she did anyway. They were good people, her birth parents. She doesn’t remember everything about them but she remembers that. 

So she has a childhood blanket, and she has a few good shirts. A nice pair of slacks, some thick socks, a pair of shorts. A few dresses. She has a backpack they can all fit in to if necessary, and she has a family that loves her more than anything else. She has friends, and she has a job that’s slowly helping the numbers creep upward in her bank account. All things considered, she’s got a lot. She’s never been one to complain.  
  
“-And your monthly rent,” Jess says, her amused voice cutting through the mental spiral as she seems to be fighting a laugh, “is $200 a month, including all utilities.”  
  
Kara’s young, but she’s lived a lot of life in her 23 years. She knows when she’s being lied to, when there’s another shoe about to drop. On a normal day Kara could probably laugh this off, could _aw shucks!_ her way through the inevitable punchline awaiting her. But it has been such a long, terrible week, and in a few hours she has to drive Alex to the airport to pickup Lucy. At this point she is out of time to find a new place and the one morning she has off to look Lena takes her here. It’s needlessly cruel, and despite herself Kara finds tears creeping slowly down her face. Lena doesn’t notice at first; all her attention is focused solely on Jess, her lips moving minutely along with the words, like she’s reciting the script with her.   
  


Jess notices, though, and manages a shaky, “uh perhaps-” only for a loud sniffle from Kara to finally clue Lena in on what’s going on. Lena gasps, moves towards her, but the tears are free flowing now and even in this giant amphitheater Kara feels suddenly claustrophobic. Everything feels a bit too much and all she can do is quickly rush to the door.  
  


“Kara wait!”

  
She presses the elevator button and the doors open instantly, yet no amount of frantic hoping will make it descend. Lena stops just at the entrance and stands awkwardly outside, staring in at her with terror clear in her eyes, before quietly saying,  
  


“Y-you need a key to make it move.”

Kara laughs, snotty and thick, and gestures half-heartedly for Lena to come in. She does, quietly sliding her key in. The doors close and the box descends.  
  


Tension permeates the elevator as they twitch and shift about in their own separate hells. Kara has no idea what’s going through Lena’s mind right now, but it’s taking all of her focus to calm down. With every second that passes the more certain she is that this was all an elaborate prank. The building has armed security, for God’s sake.  
  


Time seems to slow down in there, each floor ticks by like they are slowly but fatally sinking into quicksand. There is no turning back, no way but further down into the discomfort.  
  


“I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to upset you-“ Lena starts, but Kara cuts in with a firm,  
  


“I don’t wanna talk about it.”  
  
Lena just nods, subdued. They make it past another two floors before Kara slams her palm on the emergency stop button.  
  


“No, you know what! We are gonna talk about this. Is this some kind of joke? A weird prank? Is there a clown hiding somewhere waiting to jump out and yell _surprise_?”  
  
Lena looks genuinely confused.

  
“I don’t understand.”

  
Kara can’t help but pace back and forth, a tight line considering they’re trapped in a small box together.   
  


“Lena... I may not know a lot about housing prices but I know for sure that a building with a doorman isn’t gonna be $200 a month. What gives?”  
  
A battle is happening in Lena’s mind. Kara can tell by the nervous shuffle of her feet, the way she bites her lip and squints her fluttering eyes. Finally, Lena speaks.  
  


“I just want to be your friend, and I don’t know how to do that.”

  
Now its Kara’s turn to be confused. 

“We’re already friends, Lena! There’s nothing for you to do!” and before she could stop herself she throws in with a wink, “Besides, you already saw me naked.”

Bright red and trembling, Lena presses on, “See? Like that! I don’t know how to be like that - just make jokes and _be_ friends with people. But you do, and I want to too, and maybe if you live in my building instead of moving back to your home town we can keep being friends like that.”

Slowly the pieces are falling into place.

“So you were, what? Gonna pay for me to live in this crazy loft?”  
  
“I don’t have to pay anything, Kara. This is my building. I own it.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“What do you mean what do I mean?”  
  
“How do you own this building?”  
  
“I- what? I own this building. This building was for sale, and I purchased it so that I could live here. I own all the condos.”  
  
“You own this building?”  
  
Lena finally laughs, breaking through the tension.  
  
“Yes, Kara. I own this building.”

“How is that even possible?”

“I have a lot of money, Kara. Like, a lot. And letting you have this condo - or letting you pay me $200 a month or _whatever you want_ \- doesn’t set me back at all. It’s as easy for me as being a friend is for you. It’s amazing, honestly. I’ve never met anyone like you before, I mean- you literally gave me the clothes off your back within minutes of meeting me!”  
  
Kara laughs at Lena’s charmed exasperation, wipes clumsily at her eyes.  
  
“And I’m not good at stuff like this. Social things. I don’t know how to deal with emotions or know what to say, and I’m really not good at giving hugs-”  
  
“You’re great at giving hugs!”  
  
“- I don’t bring a lot to the table here, is what I’m saying. But I can bring resources like this. I can help keep you in National City. And I’d really like to do that for you. I’d really love to be your friend, Kara.”

It’s a lot, honestly. Never in Kara’s wildest dreams would she imagine herself in a position like this, standing in a high rise with someone who clearly has more wealth than Kara’s seen in her entire life and offering to share it. It feels too much.  
  
“I don’t want you to buy my friendship, Lena,” she says slowly, shaking her head. Lena reaches out and grabs tentatively at her arm, lets go, then grabs again a bit more confidently. Kara rests her own hand on top of Lena’s and gives her a reassuring smile which seems to relieve some of the tension.   
  


“I’m not trying to,” Lena says, “I just want to help you in the ways you’ve already helped me.”  
  


Kara thinks for a long minute before nodding.  
  
“I can do that.”  
  


“Do what?”  
  


“Help you. Be better, I guess, or maybe just loosen up? You seem crazy tense, like, all the time.”  
  
Lena laughs at that, high pitched and nervous.   
  


“Great! I would love that, great.”  
  


Kara gives her hand a squeeze before pulling it from her arm and lacing their fingers together. Lena stares intensely at their joined hands.  
  


“But the apartment is it, okay? I don’t want you spending money on me left and right. I’ll help you because we’re friends, not because I want you to spoil me.”

  
Lena nods, but continues to stare at their joined hands. Kara can already tell she’s got her work cut out for her. Finally, Lena meets her eyes with a shaky, nervous smile.  
  


“Got it. I won’t shower you in money,” she says, eyes shiny with emotion Kara can’t quite decipher.   
  


The moment is interrupted then by a voice chirping from the speaker: “madams, are you both okay in there? The emergency break has been held for some time now.”

  
Lena pulls back a bit in surprise, but Kara just holds her hand even tighter.

  
“Yeah,” Kara says, “We were just going back up.”

 


	4. I would go anywhere with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Lucy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the tardiness. life has been a doozy.

Jess does _not_ like her. 

She hasn’t said or done anything to explicitly state this, but Kara’s met her fair share of people who can only just hide their loathing for her and she knows what that looks like. It looks like tight forced expressions, arms crossed defensively, side-eyed glares. It’s Jess standing barely a foot behind her the entire time Lena takes her on the apartment tour, like a predator waiting to pounce. Kara’s not really sure what her deal is, but Lena is practically shaking with excitement and Kara is no longer a few hours away from homelessness so there really isn’t much that can bring her down right now.  
  
“And you’ll see here you actually have a second floor with enough space for another bedroom or maybe an office-” Lena trails off as her phone rings, and she frowns at the name it displays. “I have to take this. Jess, will you show her the rest?”  
  
Jess smiles and nods, her smile tight and her eyes furious. They watch Lena walk out and Kara tries not to gulp when the other woman’s eyes turn sharply on her.  
  
“So, Jess,” she starts, only for Jess to take a few quick steps into Kara’s space, backing her against the wall.  
  
“Listen here, you little hussy,” Jess says in a threatening whisper, “I don’t know what your game is, but it’s not happening, got that? I don’t know what you did to make Lena think you’re some godsend, but I see right through you. I know your type, and I’ve gotten rid of girls just like you before and I will gladly do it again, do you understand?”  
  
Kara gulps. She most certainly does not understand.  
  
Before she can formulate a response though Jess is taking a large step back and Lena is huffing back up the stairs.  
  
“Sorry about that. Jess! Did you show Kara everything?”  
  
Jess stares Kara dead in the eyes.  
  
“Yep. Told her everything she needs to know.”  
  
Kara can practically feel herself being murdered and she makes a mental note not to be alone with Jess ever, ever again.  
  
“So, when are you planning to move in? I can get you a moving service if you’d like,” Lena says. Kara just laughs a bit.

“Oh I don’t need a moving service, I’m just gonna make Alex help me bring stuff over in her car. Speaking of which,” she glances at her phone’s lock screen, “I need to get going. I’m gonna get Alex and then pick Lucy up at the airport. Wanna come?”  
  
Lena looks genuinely shocked at the invitation but nods quickly, muttering ‘yes yep sure yes’ quietly under her breath. Jess clears her throat and says,  
  
“Wait wait, so let me get this straight: you’re gonna get in the car with this woman you just met? This same woman you’re giving an apartment to?”  
  
Lena laughs at Jess’s bewilderment, saying,  
  
“Jess, please. It’s Kara.”  
  
In that moment Kara truly feels like her life is flashing before her eyes. If this were a cartoon, Jess’s head would be swelling with fiery anger and steam would be trickling out of her ears. Time to go.  
  
“Alright well let’s get going, nice to meet you Jess bye!” she grabs Lena’s hand and practically bolts. Surely the property manager can lock up behind them, right? Lena follows along humming to herself when Kara laces their fingers together.   
  


* * *

  
“So is this your car?”

At least this time Lena tries to hide her discomfort, which Kara appreciates. In her defense though the mini van they’ve been driving since they were teenagers has certainly seen better days.  
  
“Oh no, this is Alex’s. I don’t have a car.”  
  
“Oh?” Lena’s tone is forced casualness, and a quick glance to the side shows her hunched a bit over her phone typing away.  
  
“Lena,” Kara drawls, turning on to the highway, “do NOT buy me a car.”  
  
Lena presses the phone against her chest to hide the screen, her face red.  
  
“I- what? I’m not, don’t be ridiculous, Kara. Only a crazy person would do something like that.”  
  
She types something else quickly and shoves her phone in her bag. Kara can’t help the tiny smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Her new friend Lena is absolutely bonkers, and honestly she’s kind of into it.

They drive in relative silence for most of the trip.

“The buildings here are so pretty,” Lena finally says, watching the skyline as they circle along on the defense highway.  
  
And God, its been so long but she can’t stop the tidal wave of words that erupt from her explaining in detail the history of that building style, the inspiration she can clearly see in its structure and design. The words taste rusty in her mouth, like concepts from a dream she’d long woken up from. Lena just watches her with a wide-eyed sort of wonder.  
  
“Wow,” she says, her voice high with appreciation,  “you sure do know a lot about buildings.”  
  
Kara laughs. They pull on to Alex’s block.  
  
“I actually majored in that.” Seeing Lena’s confusion, she quickly adds, “Architectural engineering, with a physics minor.”  
  
It feels weird to say after so long. Lena makes a small noise of approval, saying,

“That’s incredible. When did you graduate?”  
  
She tightens her grip on the steering wheel, steeling herself. She tries for nonchalance.  
  
“Oh, I didn’t.” 

Thankfully before Lena can respond the back door flies open and Alex tumbles in. 

“You’re late!” she says as greeting, and Kara’s gunning it before the door even fully closes.  
  
“I know! I’m sorry! We lost track of time. Lena, this is Alex.” she gestures with a head tilt. Lena awkwardly sticks her hand back with a quiet ‘hello’.  
  
Alex glances at her hand, smirks a bit, then shakes it.  
  
“So you’re my sister’s mysterious new friend.”  
  
Lena does her best impression of a fish while Kara glares at her sister in the rearview.  
  
“Be nice, Alex. I’m giving you a ride to the airport, don’t harass Lena.”  
  
Alex scoffs at that, “Yeah, in _my_ car.”  
  
“Would you rather drive yourself and not get to grope your girlfriend in the backseat?”  
  
Now is Alex’s turn to be a fish.  
  
“I - we aren’t going to grope each other, Kara! I am an adult. I can control myself.”

Kara doesn’t even dignify that with a response.  
  


* * *

 

The airport is busy, so they drop Alex off and go in search of parking.  
  
There’s only one lot at the airport and the flashing sign reads $10 PER HOUR. This is one of the things Kara hates most about this city; prices are outrageous for everything. She idles for a bit and just stares at the lot, thinking. Lena shifts beside her. Maybe they can just keep circling back on and off the highway until they come out? Though that may be a while. Maybe they can find a hidden place around the side to park? Hopefully no one will tow, Alex will murder her if she gets her car towed. 

The car behind her honks long and hard.  
  
“Kara,” Lena says in a low, imploring tone. 

Lena gives her a look, and Kara concedes with, “Fine! But _this_ is the last time you pay for something. This isn’t gonna become a thing, okay?”  
  
Lena holds her hands up in surrender and smiles.  
  
“Of course. It won’t be a thing.”  


* * *

 

They catch up to Alex in the lobby. She’s pacing and muttering to herself about missed flights or sudden redeployments. Lucy’s plane is late it seems, and the help desk was decidedly unhelpful.  
  
“She always gets like this when it comes to Lucy,” Kara whispers to Lena, who just nods thoughtfully. Alex tries to act unaffected most of the time, but there really is never a moment she isn’t worried about Lucy. Or Kara, for that matter. She’s always worried. Kara really needs to find her a therapist and some good weed, not necessarily in that order.` 

“Incoming, Danvers!” a voice yells suddenly from behind, and they all turn to see a tiny woman decked in military camo sprinting towards them. Kara has only enough time to pull Lena out of the way before the small soldier leaps into Alex’s open arms, who just manages to stop them both from toppling over.

Immediately, they start making out.  
  
“Uh, so Lena this,” she gestures towards the frothy display, “is Lucy Lane, my sister’s girlfriend.”  
  
Lucy pulls away at that - her hat’s fallen off and her army jacket is already halfway open with Alex’s hand snaking inside - and shoots Lena the brightest smile. Alex seems undeterred and continues kissing at her neck, like they aren’t standing in the middle of this airport full of people. Kara feels like she’s in high school all over again.

“Nice to meet you!”

Lena just nods with a painfully locked in smile, clearly uncertain of how best to handle this situation. Lucy solves the mystery for her then by kicking her boots against Alex’s butt and loudly declaring, “Onward, steed! To the baggage claim!”  
  
Alex grumbles a bit but carries her all the way, Lucy kissing at her face and neck the entire time while Lena and Kara trail behind.  
  
“Are they always this…. affectionate?” Lena finally asks after Alex sets Lucy down on top of an unattended help desk only to try and climb on top of her. They’re shooed away moments later by an airport employee. Kara goes through all the stages of grief in five seconds before responding,  
  
“They have always been a very expressive couple.”

It takes them nearly fifteen minutes to gather the luggage and herd the couple to the car. Every time Lena and Kara turn around Alex and Lucy are pressed up against some surface or other, but eventually they make it, and the two love birds collapse into the back seat like they're just happy to have a horizontal surface. 

Alex’s van is a decade older than they are and its cassette playing radio only works some days. Today is apparently not one of those days. Kara tries for conversation instead, hoping to drown out the unpleasant sounds coming from the backseat.  
  
“So can you see why I wanted to move out as soon as possible?” Kara asks. A foot kicks forward suddenly, almost hitting her head. Lena just gives her a wide-eyed smile.  
  
“Definitely. You’re moving in tonight then?”  
  
A chorus of moans echo from the back seat, and both Lena and Kara pretend not to notice the repeated jolts as the tumbling duo reacquaint themselves with each other.  
  
“I mean I can’t sleep on the couch with this happening,” she gestures back to the groping mass, “but I don’t have a bed so I’ll probably be sleeping on the floor.”  
  
Lena straightens with a start, shaking her head.  
  
“No, don’t do that. It’s a nice apartment but the floors are way too hard and cold. I have a guest room in my place that you are more than welcome to use.”  
  
“Wow, really? Is that- I hear zippers!” Kara cuts off suddenly, glaring over her shoulder, “I shouldn’t be hearing zippers, zip whatever that is right back up!”  
  
She looks back at Lena who is now sporting an impressively dark blush.  
  
“Are you sure that’s okay?” she finishes, turning her eyes back to the road.

“Of course. You’re my friend, Kara. I’m not gonna let you sleep on a floor.”  
  
Kara smiles and glances at her, only now noticing Lena awkwardly holding her hand over her shoulder and yep; Lucy is holding Lena’s hand while kissing behind Alex’s ear.

“Lena, why are you holding her hand?”  
  
Wide eyed and terrified, Lena just shrugs,  
  
“I don’t know. She just grabbed it and I wanted to be polite.”

Before Kara can even consider replying the radio kicks into life, blasting some cheery summer pop song through the speakers. Alex squeals a bit and yells to turn it up, giggling the lyrics against Lucy’s lips. Lucy doesn’t know the words but she sings along anyway, off key and loud. Soon they’re all screaming an approximation of the lyrics, windows down and the city racing by.  
  
Kara looks over to Lena then and sees her smiling, eyes closed, nodding along to the music. One hand still holds Lucy’s for god knows what reason, while her other rests on the open window, fingers dancing through the air. The sun is just beginning to set and the car is filled with its dying light - soft reds and pinks surround them. It is a perfect moment.   
  


“Lucy! Get your hand out of Lena’s hair!”

“I’m making a new friend, Kara!”

 

Well, almost perfect.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my favorite scene in the gay and wondrous life of caleb gallo is when the couple is making out in the backseat while one of them holds hands with caleb driving the car. genuinely I cried with laughter at that image. 
> 
> next up: sleepover !!


	5. sleepovers in my bed (oh yeah)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara assaults someone and Lena acts like a normal person who knows how to have normal interactions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since last updating this fic I have: studied for and passed the GRE, applied to grad school, began and completed another 5 chapter fic (Supercorp Good Place AU - I love it wholeheartedly you should read it), locked down a Grand Canyon + Clexacon weeklong trip with my lady friend, and decided to abandon this fic entirely out of spite only to realize the world is a mess these days and maybe a silly story about two gay disasters making each other happy is actually just what I need right now.  
> What a journey! Enjoy.

Kara doesn’t know what she’s expecting when she walks in to Lena’s penthouse, but it certainly isn’t a waterfall that pulsates with bright, almost neon lights.  
  
Especially not one so... well, gaudy. Garish in a way she would not expect from her new strange friend. It’s massive, flowing at least two floors high in her foyer.  
  
“It came with it,” Lena says behind her, likely seeing Kara’s surprise. “All the more elaborate fixtures came with the place, actually. The only things I picked out are the furniture and the wall color.”  
  
Despite its size there doesn’t seem to be any spillage; just insane amounts of water falling repeatedly in time with lights. It’s so ugly and Kara’s already a bit in love with it.  
  
“Have you swam in it yet?”  
  
Lena laughs.  
  
“Well, considering that would never occur to me in a thousand years, no I have not.”  
  
Kara’s brain is already running through strategies of how to get the both of them into that fountain as soon as possible. Definitely coming back to that one.  
  
Lena’s home is similar to her new apartment but on a grander scale: bigger windows, nicer designs etched into the molding, buttons and touch screens within reaching distance at all times.  
  
Most glaring of all, however, is the color pattern. Or lack thereof, really, as everything is a variation of white. The floors, the furniture, even the small notebook sitting on the side table all fall in the same families of greys and neutrals. Kara wonders if, when the sun hits the windows just right, the room reflects back with the same intense glare of new fallen snow.  
  
In fact the only color in the entire room isn’t even in it; it comes from the skyline clearly displayed through the glass that makes up the two external walls of the living room. That at least provides some variety to the almost oppressing white.  
  
“I bet I can guess your favorite color,” Kara teases.  
  
“I find it calming. Don’t be an ass.”  
  
Kara laughs and turns a corner, stumbling immediately into a strange man holding a giant meat cleaver.  
  
At that point instinct takes over.  
  
With a piercing battle cry she kicks up catching him hard between the legs, and as he falls forward to clutch at his private bits she shoves the palm of her hand up into his nose. The clang of his knife dropping to the floor sounds in time with the crunch of cartilage cracking.  
  
“Oh my god!” the man screams, bent over, one hand clutching his crotch and the other trying to stem the bleeding.  
  
“I’m armed, asshole!” Kara yells, pulling Lena behind her and dropping into a pseudo fight stance.  
  
“You’re what?!” Lena exclaims in surprise, trying to get around Kara.  
  
“You broke it, oh my god,” the man says.  
  
“Lena, call the police!”  
  
“Kara, it’s - calm down, it’s okay! This is Hector! He works for me!”  
  
“What? Why is he walking around with a giant knife?”  
  
“I was preparing your dinner,” he says through his bloody hand, voice distorted.

He shuffles his way over to the sink to try and wash some of the blood away. Lena hovers a foot away from Hector, looking like she wants to touch him but won’t. She glances nervously back at Kara.  
  
“Kara, do you really have a weapon?”  
  
“What? No! I just said that so he’d be afraid of me.”  
  
“You broke his nose and possibly ended his ability to have children. I think he’s afraid of you.”  
  
Based on the watery glare Hector shoots Kara’s way it may be a bit too soon for jokes. It hits her then that she just assaulted this stranger, that she could go to jail or get sued for that. Ah, shit.  
  
Lena meanwhile is typing away on her phone, unfazed by the bleeding man or Kara’s impending lawsuit. Just then Hector’s phone dings with a _cha-ching!_ and his expression goes from pained annoyance to pleasant surprise when he sees what has apparently been transferred to him.  
  
“Thank you, Miss Lena,” he says through his bloodied cloth.  
  
“Thank you for your understanding here, Hector. And your discretion. please, go downstairs, have one of my drivers take you to the Luthor clinic on fourth and have that taken care of.”  
  
He nods, mumbles about there being food set out on the table, and stumbles away. Kara just stands there slack-jawed.  
  
“Did you just pay him off?” she finally says, feeling a confusing mix of horrified and amazed.  
  
Lena gives her an odd look.  
  
“I compensated him for his troubles.”  
  
“Yeah, so that’s super messed up, but thank you? I want to make him an apology card. Or a painting or something.”  
  
Lena just smiles at that and guides Kara to what could possibly be the set of a 19th century aristocrat’s dinner party. Set at a table large enough to serve thirty is a plethora of foods with two seats set at opposite ends. Kara spends a few uninhibited moments straight lusting after the feast before her before moving to grab the plate she’s decided is hers. Moving along the table, she piles it high with fresh fruits and some pasta dish and at least four different kinds of meats before going to set her plate right beside Lena’s seat. If Lena thinks anything of it she doesn’t share.  
  
“Is this what you eat everyday?” Kara says with food still held in her cheeks much like a chipmunk.  
  
“Not usually, no, but I told Hector I was having a guest over and I suppose he got excited.”  
  
“I don’t think he’ll be this excited next time I come over.”  
  
“Perhaps not,” she says with a smile.  
  
After enduring a half hour of watching Kara eat, Lena suggests they retire to the living room to watch a movie.  
  
Kara quickly discovers Lena’s couch is in fact the most uncomfortable piece of furniture in existence and, after some minor finagling, she manages to get a solid pile of pillows on the floor for them instead. The exhilarated look in Lena’s eyes suggests this might be the most unorthodox thing she’s ever done. Kara can’t wait to change that.  
  
Lena pulls up her digital library, clicks on the playlist titled **Girls Night Sleepover**. The collection reminds Kara of middle school, though she keeps that to herself.  
  
“So is this your type of movie?” she asks, scrolling along.

Lena shifts uncomfortably.  
  
“Not necessary. Truth be told I don’t watch movies; I had my social manager compile this list for us.”  
  
There is a lot to unpack in that statement, and Kara fully intends to do so in the near future, but she can’t fully get past that first statement.  
  
“What do you mean you don’t watch movies?”  
  
Lena shrugs, curls her arms around herself.  
  
“We never watched them when I was a child and at this point I don’t really see the point. But from what I’ve read I know movies are an essential part of a girls sleepover,” she says, like some sort of alien. Kara’s mind is reeling.  
  
This might be Lena’s first movie experience. This could be a majorly defining moment in both their friendship and her life. It’s so obvious.  
  
“So you haven’t seen Waterworld before, right?”  
  
The confused look shot her way tells her all she needs to know and she immediately goes to pull it up on the system.  
  
“Is it a good movie?” Lena asks hesitantly, and Kara snorts.  
  
“Oh it’s not, it’s horrible. One of the worst by far. We have to watch it!”  
  
Lena clearly didn’t understand the joys of consuming trash media, but Kara is more than happy to show her the way.  


* * *

  
“Wow,” Lena says as the credits roll.  
  
“Yeah? What did you think?”  
  
“That was... pretty unpleasant.”  
  
“Uh huh.”  
  
“Just overall I did not care for any of that.”  
  
“Yeah that’s kind of how you’re supposed to feel.”  


* * *

They lay around the living room for a long while after the movie ends just talking. Part of Kara was worried before about spending the night here. It’s one thing to spend time going and going, it’s another to sit in a room together alone and try to connect. But she’s quickly finding silence with Lena is not so painful, and the words she does share are surprisingly funny and smart. They talk of everything from favorite foods to the existence of an afterlife, sprawled out on blankets staring at the ceiling high above.  
  
The only distraction from this moment is Lena’s phone, which keeps buzzing right by Kara’s head. When Lena finally scoops it up Kara is able to make out _“DIE BITCH”_ and _“KILL YOU”_ before Lena swipes them away and she immediately freaks out.  
  
“Oh my god, Lena!” she says, sitting up in a hurry. Lena follows, looking sheepish.  
  
“I know, my next security upgrade is taking a minute so some keep getting through. It’s ridiculous, I should be able to update sooner.”  
  
“That’s not the ridiculous part of this!”  
  
Lena shuffles a bit, clears her throat.  
  
“It’s not a big deal, I promise. Can we just not talk about this?”  
  
This is without a doubt something that needs to be talked about, but Kara can see the pain in her eyes and decides to let it go for now.  
  
Besides, she’s exhausted and kind of excited to see the guest room because finally, after so many months, she can sleep in a bed.  
  
And God what a bed it is.  
  
Kara can stretch out all limbs as far as she can and still not reach the edges. After months of scrunching on Alex’s couch this bed is a spiritual experience. She manages to sleep four blissful hours before her bladder demands attention, and she stumbles down the unfamiliar hall half-asleep. It’s more quiet than she’s used to, quieter than she’s ever experienced even, and it’s that alone that lets her hear the faint sobs coming from Lena’s bedroom.  
  
She hesitates for all of three seconds before approaching the door, pressing her ear against it. She can hear Lena mumbling something unintelligible, hear her sniffles and groans. It sounds like she’s in the thralls of a nightmare.  
  
Kara’s knocking before she can even stop to think and all at once the sounds stop. She waits a few seconds but Lena says nothing, so Kara whisper-yells, “Lena!”

“Yes, Kara?” Lena calls back, voice rough from tears and sleep.  
  
“I can’t sleep! Can I come in?”  
  
There are a few more moments of weighty silence before she hears a hesitant yes.  
  
Kara makes a point of not acknowledging the tear stained sheets or the red eyes blearily gazing at her.  
  
Lena seems to be folded in on herself. Shaking like a Chihuahua in the rain, ringing her sheets between her hands. Kara doesn’t know a lot about Lena at this point, but she knows what someone on the verge of a breakdown looks like. Slowly, she pats Lena’s leg just to test. The tremble tapers off at least, but she can see Lena zeroing in on her hand. She gives her a comforting squeeze and Lena lets out a slow sigh. Kara knows exactly how to fix it.  
  
“Scoot over,” she whispers, ignoring the immediate stiffening of Lena.

“What?” Lena whispers back.  
  
“Scoot your boot,” Kara insists again, nudging at her leg. With the jerky movements of a newly born deer, Lena slides aside to make room that Kara waits no time to take. Kara gives her a moment to settle - she can practically hear the racing pound of Lena’s pulse - before finally whispering,  
  
“Big spoon or little spoon?”

Lena makes a number of small confused noises and in the dark Kara can only imagine what kind of look she’s giving her. Time to make the decision for her, then.  
  
“This feels like a little spoon kind of night, don’t you think?”

Kara repositions Lena with ease, her hands carefully pushing and tugging until she’s got Lena curled up in her arms. The effect is immediate; all the tension seems to slip from Lena’s body like ice melting in the summer heat, and Kara pulls her closer with a firm hand around her stomach. Lena gives just the barest bit of resistance, mumbling,  
  
“I’m sorry if I’m sweaty. I was having a bit of a bad dream before.”  
  
“That’s okay,” Kara says. “it happens. Sometimes I get sweaty when I eat potatoes.”  
  
Lena genuinely laughs at that, a delighted sound Kara wants to hear again and again. It takes her a moment to settle after that, but when she does she lets her entire body press back against Kara, pulls her arms just a bit tighter.  
  
“I’ll remember that next time I feed you.” she says sleepily, settling in.  
  
“You’re gonna feed me again?” Kara can’t help the wonder in her voice. Her mouth is already watering thinking about it.  
  
“Of course!”  
  
Kara sighs happily.  
  
“Gosh, Lena, I think I love you.”  
  
If Lena says anything in response Kara is already too deep into sleep to catch it.  


* * *

  
Kara wakes to the sound and feeling of Lena crashing to the floor, dragging the covers with her.  
  
“You okay?” she mumbles, one eye open. She can make out the blurry image of Lena popping up and wrapping the blanket tight.  
  
“Yes! I am fine! I’m not used to waking up next to someone. Sorry for waking you.”  
  
Kara sits up with a smile, more awake by the second as the cold seeps in.  
  
“Did you sleep okay?” Kara asks, slipping her glasses on. Now she can clearly make out Lena’s embarrassment.  
  
“Yes. Thank you so much, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way.”  
  
“Lena, please. There is nothing I love more in this world than cuddling. Really I should be thanking you.”  
  
Lena gives her a small smile - the kind of smile where it’s obvious she’s trying to hold back and not seem to obviously delighted - and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.  
  
“Well. Would you like some breakfast? Hector sent over some pastries this morning.”  
  
Kara stretches languidly, her body relaxed from her luxurious sleeping space.  
  
“I’ll have to grab one to go. I promised Lucy I’d help her with something, plus I have the party tonight.” Kara’s eyes go wide, “Wow! I almost forgot! I’m having a party at my place tonight and you have to come!”  
  
“I, uh, I don’t know-”  
  
“Lena, it’s Saturday, if you tell me you’re going to work I’m gonna freak. This is a house warming slash welcome home Lucy party! A few friends I haven’t seen in a while are coming, plus Alex and Lucy. It’ll be fun and it’ll be a way for us to work on this whole social thing.”  
  
“You’re gonna hold me to that now, aren’t you?”  
  
“Absolutely. I take my work very seriously.”  
  
They stare each other down for a few moments before Lena finally concedes with a sigh.  


* * *

  
Party setup is a bit difficult when you’re broke.  
  
Lucy and Alex buy pizza and booze, and James used his Real Job money to buy them a few handles. Winn brings his extensive collection of board and card games.  
  
Kara has no furniture because prior to this week she had nowhere to live. But luckily for her Eliza sent her to National City with a backpack full of medication and approximately thirty million pillows and blankets, so Kara is able to arrange some semblance of a living room.  
  
In the portion of space she’s decided will be her living room she lays out a bed sheet on the floor, on top of which she piles pillows and blankets in cozy piles. James sprawls his long man legs out across Kara’s body pillow in a Titanic-esque pose while Winn sits upright, propped on all sides by a pillow throne. Alex and Lucy tut around the kitchen space with Kara, ooing and awwing at the insanely sleek features. Lena is set to arrive any minute, and everything is perfect. Really, it is.  
  
“Hey,” Lucy says, bumping her hip against Kara’s. “Why do you look like someone sneezed in your oatmeal?”  
  
Kara bites her lip, wonders if this is something she should keep secret, but ultimately blurts out,  
  
“Lena told me this thing that’s really bad."  
  
“Oh my god, she killed someone too.”  
  
“No, not- wait, what do you mean too?”  
  
“Nevermind. What did she say?”  
  
“Just that people send her death threats. Isn’t that the most horrifying thing?”  
  
“Definitely, but I mean - it’s not surprising,” Lucy says with a shrug.  
  
“What do you mean it’s not surprising?”

Kara is a bit horrified by Lucy’s casual response to this.  
  
Lucy just looks confused.

“Uhh, probably because she’s related to-“  
  
A sudden knock on the door cuts her off, and they both smile at the loud KARA YOUR GUEST IS HERE that bellows musically from the living room cuddle puddle. It takes her a minute to figure out how to unlock the damn thing - this building is more high-tech than Kara can handle - and her struggle is highlighted by the soulful singing coming from the living room as James and Winn duet in their improv show.  
  
There Lena stands, a nervous twitch in her eyes and a bouquet of flowers in her hands. Lena is wearing a different silk pajama set that is still incredibly similar to the one she wore the night before. Kara can’t help but wonder just how many of these things she has. Still, she’s here and that alone is enough.  
  
Kara immediately throws her arms around Lena in a tight hug, nearly smushing the flowers between them. Luckily Lena has learned what to expect when around one Kara Danvers, and she manages to navigate them out of the way just in time. She hugs Kara back and laughs a bit.  
  
“I saw you a few hours ago, you know,” she says even as she pulls just a little tighter.  
  
“God has it really been that long?” Kara teases, grabbing the flowers from Lena then taking her now free hand. “Thank goodness you’re here then.”  
  
Lena just rolls her eyes, lets herself be led into the living room. Kara can feel the grip tighten as everyone comes over to meet her. She clears her throat.  
  
“Hello, everyone. I am Lena,” she says with an unnecessary air of formality, one made worse by her reaching forward to shake Winn’s hand. The dope looked for a moment like he might have been going for a hug, which caused the both to do an awkward arm open-close shuffle dance before settling into a half-hearted hand-touch back-slap situation.

Thankfully James offers her a hand and smile the second she turns her bright red face his way.  
  
All in all it’s a great start that really sets the tone of the evening ahead.  


* * *

  
So it turns out Lena doesn’t know how to play games.  
  
“I grew up in boarding schools,” she says as way of explanation, “I know chess and poker, and how to hide the smell of gin on my breath when the house mother comes by.”  
  
“Well look at you! Rebel child,” Lucy says with an approving grin and a high five. Lena blushes, ducks her head.  
  
“I had my moments.”  
  
None of those moments equipped her for a game night, though. Lena doesn’t know the rules at first but then takes them too seriously, becoming so competitive and intense they have to switch games twice. She gets too excited at times and then goes silent for a bit, her hands clenching.

Kara can see the clench in Lena’s jaw, the whiteness in her knuckles. Casually, without even looking away from the ridiculous display, she reaches over to rest her hand atop Lena’s own and gently pry her fist open. It takes a moment, but Lena does relax into her touch with an almost sigh of relief, the tension draining from her frame. Kara keeps her hand there for who knows how long just rubbing her thumb against the back of her hand.  
  
Things pick up just a bit after that, with Lena mostly sitting in silence while everyone else catches back up. Topics switch to their spring break trips and soon they’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of nostalgia leaving Lena far behind. James makes a joke referencing their particularly memorable trip to Daytona senior year and everyone bursts into laughter.  
  
Lena laughs then as well, louder like she’s trying to compensate. This has the unfortunate effect of causing everyone else’s laughter to quiet down to an awkward stillness.  
  
Lena clears her throat, grits her teeth.  
  
“Pardon me,” she says after another awkward moment of silence, voice tight, before quick- walking to the restroom.  
  
Kara gives her thirty seconds before following.  
  
She can hear her sniffling through the door. One gentle knock and the sniffles stop.  
  
“Lena,” she says quietly, “wanna let me in?”  
  
“Give me a moment,” a shaky voice says back. Kara can hear water running in the sink before the door unlocks and opens just enough for her to slip inside. Lena smiles at her, small and trembling.  
  
“Sorry, I just needed a moment to-” she trails off, clears her throat.  
  
“Cry?” Kara offers. Lena looks horrified, almost like she might argue, before looking down in defeat. She laughs a sad little laugh.  
  
“Yes. It’s silly, I know. I should have outgrown this sort of thing by now.”  
  
“Outgrown what? Crying? Dude, I cry all the time! I cried this morning thinking about foster puppies!”  
  
Lena’s eyes are glassy but her smile is sincere as she giggles out,  
  
“Foster puppies?”  
  
“Yes! They are so small and alone and they just want to be loved and just,” Kara trails off as she feels like she might genuinely start to cry. Lena coos a bit at the sight of it and reaches out towards her only to pause, reconsider. Kara is having none of it, though, and immediately steps in to pull her close.  
  
It takes a moment but Lena sinks into her embrace, presses her face to where Kara’s shoulder meets her neck. It’s so strange just how comfortable this feels for Kara, how relaxed Lena always is with her. All the anxiety slips away from Lena. All the scattered thoughts constantly circling Kara’s mind fades. Everything feels warm.  
  
“Hey love birds!” Lucy calls from the living room, pulling them both out of their shared bubble. “Are we playing Apples to Apples or what?”  
  
Lena clears her throat and gives her a much more sincere smile.  
  
“Shall we?”  


* * *

  
In the end game night is marked as a success, the gang gliding past Lena’s idiosyncrasies as smoothly as can be expected. By the end of it Lena is relaxed, leaning into Kara’s side, making jokes with Winn about some nerd nonsense Kara barely cares about.  
  
Winn and James leave around eight with Lena not far behind them, leaving a keycard for Kara to come up to her apartment after cleanup. Kara really needs to get a bed soon; she runs through some options in her mind while putting paper plates and empty bottles in boxes to recycle.  
  
Lucy sits on the counter and kicks her feet happily, munching on one of the few pieces of pizza that escaped their earlier carnage.  
  
“Damn, Kara, I’m honestly impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“You know, all this,” she gestures to the apartment as if to explain. “I never saw you as the kept woman type, but I respect it. Very Pretty Woman.”  
  
Alex spits out the sip of vodka she had just started to take and Kara can’t help stuttering as she says,  
  
“That is not what’s happening! Oh my God, Lucy! We’re just friends!”  
  
“Friends don’t give friends million dollar penthouses.”  
  
“This apartment is a million dollars?!”  
  
“Maybe, I don’t know. Point is you somehow became Lena Luthor’s favorite and that is a really big accomplishment. Kudos,” she lifts her pizza crust in a toast.  
  
Kara scoffs, tossing the empty pizza box she held aside.  
  
“Being friends with someone isn’t an accomplishment. I think-“ she freezes, face scrunching in

confusion, “Wait, what did you just say?”  
  
“I said you’re a sugar baby,” Lucy teases, but Kara just shakes her head.  
  
“No, I mean - did you just say Lena’s last name?”  
  
“Yeah.. Luthor. Was it supposed to be a secret? I know I’ve been out of the country for a while but I do watch the news. Honestly knowing you got her attention just makes it more impressive.”  
  
“How do you know her last name? Why do you know it?”  
  
“Are you making a joke right now? She’s Lena Luthor. As in the sister of Lex Luthor?”  
  
Kara just gives her a blank stare.  
  
“Kara, come on. Lex Luthor.” Still nothing. “The serial killer!”  
  
She’s not sure what facial expression she’s making but based on how quickly Lucy deflates it’s not a good one.  
  
“Wait,” Lucy says slowly, “you seriously didn’t know?”  
  
All Kara can do is shake her head, numb. Lucy looks horrified.  
  
“Ahh shit,” Lucy says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly tbh I loved Waterworld


	6. I will be late (but if you can just wait) I will make it eventually

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara processes this new information with a little help from her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello space cadets. I would apologize for this chapter being so late but we all know my words are empty and meaningless. Since last updating this fic, I have: gotten into grad school, gotten into my grad program (Professional Mental Health Counseling), finished 6 hours of credit, and planned a weekend trip (featuring around 26 hours of driving) to NYC with my gal pal this upcoming weekend to potentially see and touch one (1) Melissa Benoist. Fingers crossed we achieve it. I'll let you know how it goes in four months when I update this fic again.
> 
> Also content warning: brief mentions throughout of murder, cannibalism, and dead body disposal

 

“Kara! Open the door! Shit shit shit.”  


“What’s going on?”  


“She’s freaking out.”  


“What? Kara! Unlock the door!”  


“Give me a minute!” Kara yells back, scrolling further in her phone. 

She’s barricaded herself in the bathroom and taken residence on the closed toilet lid, falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of google links and think-pieces. It really feels like her head might explode.

  
**LUTHOR SENTENCED TO TWENTY LIFE SENTENCES** , the headline screams.

**  
CORRUPT CEO TURNED SERIAL MURDERER: WHAT WE KNOW.**

 

She quick-scans article after article, eyes flying fingers shaking, while Lucy and Alex attempt to get through the door.  
  
Her feelings are reeling so she tries to focus on the facts:  
  
_Lex Luthor was the world’s youngest CEO who also owned the world’s largest corporation.  
  
Lex Luthor was a party playboy with an instagram following of over 4.5 million.  
  
Lex Luthor was indicted on the poison-related murders of over 65 people, although the actual number is thought to be much higher.  
  
Lex Luthor is Lena’s older brother._

“What did you say to her?” she hears Alex saying as the door rattles, “she hasn’t had a panic attack in months!”  
  
“Just give me a minute!” Kara yells again, but the door continues to shake and the two talk on.  
  
_The confirmed murders date back a decade, his first confirmed murder taking place when he was just 16.  
_  
“I didn’t mean to freak her out! How was I supposed to know she didn’t know about Lena’s brother?”  
  
“Know what about Lena’s brother?”  
  
_Lex Luthor was a wildly famous instagram playboy, often documenting his lavish lifestyle and adventures. On rare occasions, his younger sister would appear in his photos, too._

“Oh my God, Alex! You too?”   
  
_Old footage is being heavily scrutinized after this discovery, videos and photos showing Lex interacting with some of his victims, cheesing for the camera on yachts and in night clubs. Photographs of him with his arm thrown around a much younger Lena who stares at him like he’s the moon and stars.  
  
_ “That Lena’s brother is a serial killer!”

_Lex Luthor’s younger sister, Lena, alerted the police to Lex’s possible criminality and helped orchestrate the sting operation that ultimately led to his arrest. He was not even considered a suspect prior to her actions.  
_

The door stops shaking.  
  
On unsteady legs, Kara climbs off the toilet and opens the door.

* * *

Kara has been sprawled out on the floor for nearly five minutes while Alex paces from one end of Kara’s outlandishly large apartment to the other. Lucy has been squatting over Kara attempting to coach her through the correct response to all this.

“Are you gonna be chill, Kara?” she’s saying,“You’re not convincing me that you’re gonna be chill.”  
  
“Why does she have to be chill?” Alex snaps, “she’s living under a serial killer!”  
  
“Lena is not a serial killer. She’s just related to one,” Lucy responds matter-of-factly, but it all sounds like buzzing to Kara’s ears.  
  
The phrase _’65 confirmed murders but more suspected_ ’ has played on repeat in her mind since she first read it.  
  
Lucy and Alex argue. Alex finally snaps,  
  
“Kara, pack a bag. You’re staying with us tonight.”  
  
Kara doesn’t even acknowledge it, still mentally zoned out. Lucy does.  
  
“Oh come on, Alex, don’t you think that’s a bit dramatic?”  
  
“Dramatic? She’s the sister of a _serial killer_! And now she’s gonna serial kill my sister!”  
  
“She’s not the killer in the family!” Lucy insists, “I know you two were a little checked out this past year, but I kept up with the news. I saw the whole Luthor thing go down. Lena’s the one who turned her brother in.”  
  
Alex scoffs.  
  
“Oh yeah, probably so she wouldn’t go down as an accomplice! For all we know she traded him in to protect herself!”

“Everyone has family issues. Don’t act like the Danvers clan is perfect!” Alex scoffs in the most affronted tone but Lucy continues, “This chick is weird, but she gave Kara a free condo and I’m mostly sure she’s not gonna kill her. Maybe give her a chance?”  
  
“A chance to what? Kill my baby sister in her sleep? Poison her food? Can we really know how innocent she was in all this?"  


_65 dead 65 dead 65 dead_

  
“Here’s what we do know,” Lucy continues, “This girl gets blamed by everybody all the time for the shit her brother did even though she was the one who stopped him. And now she’s found a friend in you,” she gestures to Kara, ”someone who doesn’t give her shit because you didn’t know. Only now you know. Are you gonna become one of those shit-givers, Kara?”  
  
Kara’s still buzzing a bit, but she shakes her head slowly in time with Lucy because it feels like the right thing to do. Lucy looks unconvinced but pulls her to her feet anyway, dusts her off, grips her shoulders.

“So Kara is going to go upstairs and act like everything is cool, because she can’t sleep on this hardwood and I accidentally left my muddy kit on the couch and you definitely don’t wanna sleep there.” Alex makes more horrified sounds but Lucy barrels onward,  
  
“Be cool, Kara. Remember this sweet ass apartment that you will never be able to afford in your lifetime and that sweet girl you got waiting upstairs.”  
  
_65 or more,_ Kara remembers.

* * *

Lena’s still awake, despite the desperate prayer Kara prayed to every deity she could think of while slowly making her way back to Lena’s apartment. She’s very awake - practically floating, even, giddy and smiling and rushing to hug Kara the moment she steps in.

Kara goes stiff in her arms immediately and unintentionally, which causes Lena to pull back with a visible flinch. She deflates a bit, smiling still but with a scolded look to her eyes.  
  
“Sorry, I just got excited. It went so well!” her voice is subdued, but still happy. Kara tries to smile but judging by how Lena visibly deflates even further it’s most likely a grimace.  
  
“Yeah! It was great,” she says unconvincingly, which only brings out a deeper frown from Lena. She really needs to get out of this interaction as soon as possible. She clears her throat nervously, looks away.  
  
“Would you like something to drink?” Lena asks, making like she’s heading to the kitchen. _65 poisoned,_ Kara’s brain whispers, prompting her painfully dry mouth to say, “Oh no! I’m fine. I just have a bit of a headache. I think I’ll go to bed now.”  
  
“Oh, here! I have some medicine that should help,” she grabs a pill bottle sitting on the counter and moves to hand it to Kara only to freeze when, much to her own horror, Kara shouts out a reflexive _NO!_ at the sight of it.

Slowly, the hand holding the bottle droops.  
  
“Oh,” Lena says so quietly Kara almost thinks she imagined it. The room feels bigger now, somehow, in this moment.

Like Lena just takes up less of it.

“Okay. Well, I’ll let you go to bed,” Lena says.  
  
Kara’s heart tells her to grab the medicine and drink the water, to hug Lena and tell her she did so good tonight and that Kara is so, so proud of her.

Instead she walks past her and into the guest bedroom.

* * *

Kara wakes up three hours later with the driest mouth that’s ever existed and tiptoes to the kitchen to sneak a drink.

Through the walls she can hear Lena crying in her sleep.  
  
She grabs her drink and goes back to her room, shutting the door.  


* * *

Attempts to wake up early and sneak out unnoticed are thwarted as for some reason Lena is up already and waiting. She even has made her coffee and somehow obtained an array of pastries.

“Good morning!” Lena says, voice a bit too loud for the hour, “I had Hector bring breakfast. I thought maybe we could sit together and share it.“  
  
There’s a slight desperation to her eyes, an awkwardness in the way her hands clasp and unclasp. Kara feels panicky and nowhere near ready to talk about anything, so she spits out a “sorry I’m running late!” and tries to bolt past her. Lena grabs her arm and whispers _wait_ , then flinches like she is as surprised as Kara by her own actions. She immediately retracts her grip and instead holds her hands together in front of herself, fingers fiddling uncomfortably. She clears her throat.  
  
“I just wanted to apologize,” she says, voice more subdued, “I feel like I might have done something wrong without realizing so I just, whatever it was - I’m sorry, and if you tell me what it was I will make sure it _never_ happens again.”  
  
She’s so earnest and Kara can see the red in her eyes, can already tell what little sleep she likely got that night before. Lena probably never sleeps all that well these days.  
  
“You did nothing wrong,” Kara says finally, her tone heavy. Lena looks hesitant and skeptical but when Kara steps up to hug her she melts. “You did nothing wrong,” she whispers against her hair, and she’s not sure which of them she’s trying to convince.  


* * *

  
Kara takes the bus to work so she can continue her Luthor research and also because Miss Grant took the scoot away. 

Not permanently, hopefully - she just said Kara has lost the privilege of using it outside of deliveries until the giant Lena-Luthor-created crack in the front window is fixed. Which will only happen when Kara pays for it apparently.  
  
“Well I’m certainly not paying to fix it,” Miss Grant had said, “If I pay to fix it what lesson will you have learned?”  
  
Kara’s pretty sure that’s illegal and also not how business repairs work, but Miss Grant hasn’t mentioned it again and Kara’s still getting paid the insane amount she’s been paid so she hopes this will all be forgotten. Plus she still has a key to the scoot, so if she really needs it? Well, Miss Grant isn’t around _too_ often.  
  
All this is to say, of course, that Kara now has ample bus riding time to study the deep dark details of the Luthor Murder case.  
  
And they are _dark._

“He melted the body in acid?” she whispers in horror. The elderly man next to her startles a bit, gives her a look of concern. 

“Sorry, I’m just reading an article,” she says sheepishly. “Have you heard of this Lex Luthor guy?”  
  
He looks at her like she’s asked if he’s ever had water. He scoffs, looks like he may spit on the ground but then reconsiders,  
  
“That piece of shit? Of course, him and his whole family,” the man returns to his newspaper, flipping it dramatically, “You just know they knew all along what he was doing. How could they not? Shoulda thrown the whole lot in prison.”

Kara frowns at this, her instincts to defend Lena clawing at her throat, but she opts instead to continue scrolling.

_  
43 of the bodies were found on the expansive acreage owned by the Luthors, a few even buried beneath their mansion itself.  
  
_

“You just know they knew,” replays over and over in her head as the bus reaches her stop.  


* * *

  
“Tell me, Kiera,” Miss Grant cuts in from behind her suddenly, making her jump so hard she nearly drops her phone in the sink. “Is dish washing so difficult that you must google directions for it? Because that is the only reason I can think for you to be on your phone during work hours.”

Kara shoves her phone into her back pocket and grabs another pie pan to scrub. She’s been at work for three hours already and she’s accomplished nothing beyond a deeper dive into the Luthor Legacy. There are so many conspiracy theories surrounding the whole ordeal - that Lex was framed, that Lena committed the crimes, that the whole family was composed of cannibals. It was all a lot to take in, really.

How can she possibly live in the home of a potential murdering cannibal?  
  
She can’t. That’s the answer. Even if she knows (or thinks that she knows) Lena is innocent, can she really justify living in her home, enjoying her wealth?

She slips her phone back out and texts Lena:  
  
  
- _Gonna be home at 8? We need to talk.  
_  
  
There. Concise, to the point. Surprisingly she gets a response immediately:  
  
  
- _I can be for sure.  
  
-Are you okay?  
  
-Did something happen?  
  
-Is something going on?  
  
[Lena  <3 is typing …..]_

 

She clicks out of the app with a little shout, overwhelmed all at once. She can’t do this. How is she gonna do this? Her phone buzzes, then buzzes again. She can practically feel the panic in its vibrations.

She holds the off button until it shuts down entirely.  
  
“Shouldn’t text at work,” she says to herself, voice high and neurotic, and begins to speed-wash dishes like her life depends on it.  


* * *

  
“Hey Winn, can I ask you a totally hypothetical question.”

“Mmm that sounds like the start of a question that’s not at all hypothetical, but yeah go for it.”  
  
“Okay, so. What if you found out that a friend you really like had a kind of crazy family member? Like, let’s say it was something really wild, like they were related to a serial killer or something.”  
  
Winn stops his cleaning then, slowly looking back at her.  
  
“Is this your way of asking about him?” he says with a dry, distant voice. Kara has no idea what he’s talking about.  
  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Who is him?”  
  
Winn swallows audibly, looks away.  
  
“My dad.”  
  
Kara is so confused and Winn looks like he’s about to cry and things are really getting off course here.  
  
“I don’t know anything about your dad, Winn. I’m talking about Lex Luthor.”

“Lex Luthor the serial killer?”

God, why does everyone know who he is but her?

“Yes! But… is your dad… ?”  
  
“Uhh well, you see, the thing is,” he tugs at his shirt collar like the oversized polyester blend has tightened like a snake around his throat, “my dad kind of killed a bunch of people, too. So I thought you were just being really weird about telling me you knew.”  
  
“I didn’t know. Are you okay?”  
  
“Still alive, so I got that going for me!” he gives a weak smile which she returns, “but honestly, yes. It’s been a long time since he went to prison, and I’ve had a _lot_ of therapy since then, so. I’m doing okay.”

Kara can’t help but wonder why so many people in her life are apparently one degree away from serial murder. Is there something about her that calls to them?  
  
“But what were you asking about Lex Luthor?”  
  
“Oh! Uh, do you know anything about him?”

“Not a lot. I didn’t follow him on insta but I know he was like, crazy famous. I know his family owns Luthor Corp and uhh the rest of the world, too, basically.”

“It’s L Corp now.”

“Oh. Well that makes sense, having the name Luthor right now is a death sentence.”

Kara remembers the death threats on Lena’s phone. 

“If you found out someone you know was a Luthor how would you react?”

“Uhh probably like ‘Welcome to the murdering family club! Wanna get a beer and talk about it?’”

And it makes sense, it really does. Winn wouldn’t react with distrust or disdain because he knows what it’s like to be blamed for the actions of your family. And she likes Winn; aside from Alex he’s basically her best friend in National City. She would trust him not to murder her in her sleep. Does Lena not deserve the same?

“And you’re not a murderer too, right?” she asks, just to clarify.

“The only thing I kill is the dance floor. I mean I kill it on the dance floor. My moves are killer. I can, uh-”

“Please stop.”

“Yep! Stopping now.”  


* * *

  
It’s nearly closing time when she wanders into Miss Grant’s office, the chaos in her mind demanding another opinion.  
  
“Miss Grant,” Kara starts before she’s even entered the room.

She finds Miss Grant by the giant and somewhat tacky poster of a cartoonish, anthropomorphized cookie skipping and holding hands with an equally ridiculous looking cupcake that hangs in her office. Only instead of resting flat on the wall it’s pulled forward like a cabinet door, the poster now 90 degrees from where it was before. She’s crouched behind it, out of sight from Kara, who is reeling from the realization that that ugly poster hides a secret door, apparently. Kara immediately hears the fast clicking of a metal lock before Miss Grant steps back and slams the poster back, another locking sound clicking in to place.

“Uh,” Kara says.  
  
“What is it, Kiera?” Miss Grant huffs, walking back to her desk like she hadn’t just accessed some sort of crazy spy wall. Kara figures it’s best to just follow suit.

“Can I, uh, can I ask your advice on something?”

Miss Grant quirks a brow, waves her hand expectantly. Kara plops down in the seat in front of her desk.

“Let’s say you had a _friend,”_ she starts, gesturing for emphasis, “who recently started hanging out with someone who they _really_ liked, someone who’s sweet and generous and gives your friend all kinds of fancy rich people gifts. But then one day you find out that they come from a crazy family, like mass murderer crazy. How should I, or. I mean. How should your friend react?”

Cat gives her a level stare.

“Did this someone commit mass murder as well?”

“No, they actually helped stop the mass murdering.”

“Well, if this someone is kind and generous and helped stop more people getting hurt, I think I would tell my _friend_ that it sounds like they’ve found a good someone to be with.”

Kara nods, thoughtful.

“That makes a lot of sense. Thank you, Miss Grant!”

“But Kiera,” she calls just as Kara begins to leave the room, “I would also suggest that my _friend_ be wary. There are undoubtedly people around that someone who may have less than kind intentions. Miss Luthor is in a very dangerous spot right now, and that danger might extend to those she cares for.”

And with that she just turns back to her computer, seemingly oblivious to the fish gape happening on Kara’s face and the way she practically runs from the office.

* * *

  
Kara turns her phone back on on the bus and there are 17 texts from Lena and two calls. Her stomach feels unsettled at the thought of it so rather than checking she calls Alex.

She intends to call about the shirt she thinks might be wedged in Alex’s couch that Kara would like back, but before she can even begin Alex is ranting about Lena.

“Kara, please. Just get off at my stop and come home. Please don’t put yourself in a dangerous position!”  
  
Kara thinks of the man on the bus who spit vitriol, of the elevator companions at L Corp who loathed a boss they’d only just met. Of the death threats and nightmares.  
  
“Lena is a good person,” she says, firm. “And she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.”  
  
Alex sighs.  
  
“I’m not saying she’s a bad person, I just-“

“She isn’t going to murder me, Alex!” Kara cuts off, anger fueling her, “Just because her brother killed a couple dozen people doesn’t mean she’s gonna, too!”  
  
She’s earning some stares from her fellow passengers but it doesn’t matter. This feels important. This is important.

“I’m not scared she’s gonna hurt you,” Alex reassures, using that soothing voice she does when Kara gets worked up. Kara hates that it works to make her feel calm. “I’m worried that this is a stressful situation to get yourself in the middle of, and I’m worried it’ll put too much pressure on your heart.”  
  
Kara scoffs.

“Sleeping on your couch hearing you bone your girlfriend through the walls is gonna cause my heart more stress than living in this nice apartment with Lena.”  
  
“Under Lena.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Living under Lena, not with her. You two have separate apartments.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s what I said.”  
  
Alex sighs, long and dramatic.  
  
“I just worry about you.”  
  
Kara smiles.  
  
“I know you do, and I hate and love that about you. But I think my heart is gonna be perfectly safe from Miss Lena Luthor.”

Alex grumbles.  
  
“If she puts you in the hospital I’m gonna put her in a grave.”  
  
“I love you too.”  


* * *

_  
65 dead,_ she thinks. _And how many saved?_

* * *

Kara walks in to Lena’s apartment at 8:13 PM and feels a bit like she’s stepping into a different world.

The space was already tidy before but it now seems spotless, the surfaces of furniture glistening under that soft light.  
  
The kitchen table is covered in another feast, a collection of delights that has Kara’s mouth salivating just from the smell. There’s even a takeout container for her favorite restaurant back home - did Lena send someone to Midvale to buy it?  
  
What really hits Kara, however, is the living room that has seemingly transformed into an art studio. There are canvases of every size lining the walls and displayed on easels. The coffee table is covered in brushes, paints, and tools Kara has only lusted after from afar when buying her cheap paints. There has to be at least a few thousand dollars worth of equipment in this room, all in pristine condition.  
  
“Wow,” Kara breathes, stepping towards it.  
  
That’s when Lena appears.

It’s only been twelve or so hours since she’s seen Lena and yet somehow she looks drastically different. The red in and around her eyes has grown, her face splotchy like she’s wiped at it repeatedly. Her lower lip has small patches of red from where she’s bitten to the point of bleeding. Without a doubt she has spent every moment of today agonizing.  
  
She gives Kara an almost professional smile, her hands fiddling a bit before she puts them behind her back.  
  
“Hello, Kara, I’m glad you’re home,” she says, “Please, have a seat.”  
  
Kara follows her guidance in a somewhat daze, plopping on to the couch in amazement.  
  
“What is all this?” she asks. Lena clears her throat, smiles again,  
  
“These are part of my apology.” At the questioning look Kara gives her she continues, “I’ve messed up somehow, I know I have. And I wanted to make that right. I know you’re an artist so I thought getting you the right tools for the trade would be a good start.”  
  
It feels like a vice has been secured to Kara’s ribs in that moment, squeezing and squeezing away. Lena must see the sorrow on her face then, because she quickly continues, "I made a list of all the things I might have done to upset you, and I was hoping we could brainstorm ways I can improve. Number one: I likely said a dumb thing in front of your sister-“  
  
“Oh my God! Please stop!”  
  
Lena freezes, looking at Kara in quiet concern at her outburst. Kara feels like she’s going to cry - she may already be crying, in fact - and she jumps up to pace away from Lena. She can feel her eyes following her and she just, she can’t do this.

“I know about Lex, Lena,” she finally says, “that’s where all the weirdness is coming from. I know you’re a Luthor.”

And just like that Lena crumbles before her eyes. She slumps downward, inward, falling gracelessly back on to the couch with a stunned _oh_.    
  
Kara has seen a range of sadness in Lena’s eyes before but she’s never seen anything close to this. She was sad, sure, when she thought she had messed up in some way. When she thought she was too eager, too affectionate, too loud. But there is no comparison to how this revelation must feel for her, because this?

This is not something Lena can fix.

Kara lets out a hard breath, flops down on the couch beside Lena, runs her hands through her hair.  
  
“This is really fucked up,” she mutters to no one in particular. She shouldn’t have started like this, she shouldn’t have done any of this. Lena’s lower lip is trembling but her eyes are dry. She nods sharply.

“If you want to move I understand. I can help you find a place, or if you’d rather I not-“  
  
Kara is sputtering on her own spit trying to respond,  
  
“What? No! I don’t want to move out!” she shouts, causing Lena to jolt a bit. She sighs and tries to center herself. “I’m also not just, like, ditching you over this. I read what happened. You were the one who turned him in, right?”  
  
Lena nods, then scoffs.  
  
“The bastard Luthor reveals murders so she can take control of the Luthor dynasty,” she says in a practiced sort of way, like it is a message she’d been given over and over. Any doubt Kara had in her pretty much falls away at that, replaced with pure protective rage.

“Fuck whoever told you that,” she says, “And fuck everybody else. You aren’t the bad guy here. You’re the hero of this whole story!”  
  
Lena lets out a wet laugh.  
  
“That’s a rare view you have there, Miss Danvers.”  
  
“Look, this is a big thing to process. And I’ve spent most of today doing that, getting advice from everyone and reading articles. But I think I just have to go with my gut here.”  
  
She turns to Lena fully, legs pressing together, and takes her hands in her own. She squeezes them softly until Lena finally meets her eyes.  
  
“My gut tells me that you, Lena Luthor, are a _good person._ You are kind, and funny, and weird in the best kind of way.” This earns her another laugh, “and I think anyone who can’t look past your name to see that isn’t worthy of you.”

Kara pulls her into a hug and Lena clings to her tight, almost fearfully.  
  
“Thank you,” Lena whispers. Kara bumps her shoulder, says,

“I’m not the fastest at processing things. Sometimes it takes me a while to get there. But I will always get there,” she pulls back from the hug, stares into Lena’s eyes, “and I feel like I gotta say this, because I don’t think anyone else has - you are not your brother. You are your own person, and from what I’ve seen that person is pretty great.”

Lena is full-on crying now, clinging tight enough to leave red marks, but Kara just holds her back. She thinks about the flinch away this morning, how Lena wanted to touch her but felt guilty about doing it and her heart burns at the thought of it.

“I really am sorry about today. I was horrible to you. And I’m really sorry about that text and the whole silent treatment thing. That was really shitty of me to just go quiet on you. I knew you were worried and I just let you sit in it.”  
  
“Oh, no, it’s fine, Kara, really-“  
  
“It’s not. That’s a really fucked up thing to do to someone I care about. You deserve better than that. I _will_ do better, I promise.”

Lena squints at her in bleary disbelief, and Kara feels another tightening in her chest which she accommodates by squeezing Lena even tighter. After a moment, she mumbles,  
  
“Also you don’t have to buy me gifts when you think I’m mad at you. I mean, these art supplies are rad as hell and I am about to go to town on that dinner buffet, but it’s okay to just use your words instead of your money. I’ll like you just the same.”

“You are nothing like anyone I’ve ever known,” Lena says with a laugh. Kara smiles against her hairline, giving her another squeeze.  
  
“Back at’cha,” Kara says before pressing a loud, dramatic kiss to Lena’s forehead that earns her a groan, “Now come on. There is a bucket of chicken wings over there singing my song.”  
  
And Lena laughs, wipes her tears for the millionth time that day, and follows after her.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me for all my dumb ideas on [tumblr](http://karalovesallthegirls.tumblr.com)


End file.
